Blind
by Soko
Summary: What happens when a nonlethal mission turns lethal in a matter of seconds? When a mission turns deadly and Ken's seperated from the others, will help come to late? What happens in the aftermath? RanKen
1. Blood

Blind

A Weiss Kreuz Fanfiction

Part I

During the hours of darkness it is often that human sight is less adept and often leaves them to fumble almost drunkenly in the shadows of the night upon things that they cannot see - Its then that the shiver that runs across their spine dances in forewarning; a simple object, a cold breeze, or the sense of another presence close by. Its here that humans forget to rely upon sound; It is here, on the darkest of nights that they hide within the shadows within the darkness at the heels of those truly in the dark; Unseen to the seeing – all but _blind._

It had been handed to them the day before last, in a plain manila envelope. The orders already issued as the lights pressed fully into darkened eyes; dilating in the once dark room.

The information they were given was limited, but what was given was enough to conclude the mission as low in threat; dealing with a small black market pharmaceutical company. The mission assignment was simple, it would be a quick in and out reconnaissance to gather the information needed to bring them down. It was an easy in and out.

_It should have been._

* * *

_The explosion wracked half of the south hanger against the east wall, coming from the lab that situated itself there_.

* * *

Blood already covered the floor in mass puddles, staining the pristine white floors in rivers as blood spatter painted the walls in projectiles. It was something out of the darkest of his nightmares; bodies lay tossed hazardlessly from where their last breath had been taken, drowning in their own rivers of red. And in the midsts of it all, metal claws rained crimson.

He cringed.

Information had somehow leaked, from the inside – from faulty security over ride measures that hadn't been taken, to an inside snitch - how was not known. What was was that a non-lethal mission had turned lethal in a matter of seconds.

His assignment had been to gather the data collected in the south hangers lab, while Bombay kept a visual. Abyssinian and Balinese were to raid the north hangars lab and gather as much information as possible as it seemed to be the primary lab, holding everything they hoped to need.

His mission was to check the south lab, even though it was empty, for anything further. They would leave nothing uncovered.

By then the trap had been set, as he was to far from the others, and the leak was noticed.

The north lab was empty; and Balinese and Abyssinian had fallen for the decoy.

Several well-armed guards now stood before him, having sprung upon the prey they themselves had laid trap to. Cornered, surrounded and hunted, they grinned at the seemingly caged animal before them, as if they had the upper hand.

A sneer licked his lips.

Their over self confidence would become their downfall.

The sneer that ripped against his teeth was like that of an animal; untamed and dangerous. With the flex of his arm, he quickly released the bladed claws at his hand once again with the clutch of his fingers; never stopping in his hunt.

With a step back, his eyes darted to the prey that now hunted him.

Picturesque, he looked like just that, a caged animal of the wild, discharging raw strength at the simplest of movements, from the way his fingers shifted or his arms swung, to the movement of his legs.

However, he was now cornered, caged and injured, and working off adrenaline alone. His breathing had long ago come in heavy gasps for air, as he had now been backed into a corner, continuing to watch them with dangerous eyes. His actions slowed with his step back, his thoughts taking grasp of the situation, working a counter measure – claws extended and adrenaline continuing to pour.

* * *

Few remained as Siberian cleared his bloodied path towards his original destination, the fallen at his feet like corpses of prey that befell victims of his hunger. 

His steps however, were delicate, each one lined carefully with pain as his right arm snaked about his torso. His clothes and hands lay drenched in blood, as his own blood began to soak the skin already marred with that of his befallen victims, a bullet wound having all but grazed him.

The few now scattered with fear, their white lab coats stained and splattered with the blood of their colleges.

Struggling forward, the explosion hit as he reached the open door, having thrown the last of his victims to the side.

Heat hit him in a brilliant flash of light as clashes of white and gold hit his eyes and everything suddenly became black and even the sounds became silent.

From their side, sudden static washed over the communication unit as seconds passed from the explosion's tremble. "Siberian…"

"_... Siberian!"_

* * *

When his mind slowly cleared from the fog that obscured his thoughts as he regained consciousness, he could hear everything that went on about him in the awing silence; the crash of wooden planks falling but a few inches, to the sound of broken glass that still lingered at the whole. 

Dust and debris shifted from the rafters, glass having etched across the floor in the pools of blood he'd left in his wake, and the sounds of the moans of the few remaining silently echoing about him in a half conscious agony.

At first, the sounds came in fragments, the falling rubble, the soft moans; and he blamed it on the momentary regaining of consciousness. He could hear a faint ringing in his ears that cleared as he stirred, sounds flooding back in unison.

He couldn't help the half grunt, half moan that slipped from his cracked lips as he stirred. Pain blurring his movements as his hands slid across the floor, slowly sliding to where his head rest. And slowly, his eyes opened to utter darkness.

Stiffly, he rose to his hands and knees, feeling with his hands the ground around him. Sifting through the debris he sought out with his fingertips the headset he'd lost during the explosion. It was with sheer luck that he found the tiny transmitter buried beneath a bit of rubble.

"Bombay…." His voice cracked, "The powers -" _Gone out_.

Nothing, not even static lined the air frequency.

With a muffled grunt, he moved his hand before his eyes, moving to push the bangs he could feel against his eyes to the side and he suddenly froze.

Terror gripped him at the sudden realization that struck him.

It wasn't the power that was lost, it was his _sight._

"Bombay! Bombay!" Desperate, futile attempts into the long dead unit. Panic rose, lodging within his chest, clamping about his throat, his hands desperately clawing over the ground; he fell back, finding one of the walls still standing. His fists clenched, claws extended as unseen eyes darted every which way, his breathing ragged.

* * *

"_Abyssinian! Balinese! Explosion from the south side! Man down! Siberians unresponsive, signals have been lost!" Bombay's voice quickly disguised his concern, quickly taking command. _

_Heads turned to find each other's eyes, wide. "We're on our way_."

* * *

Everything. The slightest sound sent him lashing out to push himself further into the wall in any attempt to conceal himself. His reasoning was irrational within his own mind, knowing the wall would only come as a form of protection to the rear. 

"Omi. Youji!"

_Ran._

_Someone_.

He knew his attempts with gaining a signal were futile, but the fear that gripped him was greater than any sensible thoughts that lingered in the back of his mind. Its circuitry had most likely been fried during the explosion. But it was all he had.

His breaths became shallow in his fear, the wound lining his side continuing to slowly bleed from the gunshot, along with various other small cuts he could feel lining his body. And slowly, things began to grow cold.

He couldn't see.

* * *

Ran wrenched his sword from the opponent before him no longer active in participation. Drops of crimson liquid slid down the untarnished blade at his hand, and the katana wielder gave a quick flick to disperse the un-dried blood. 

Giving his blonde partners a quick look, he turned to retreat from the dying battle that dwindled as they fought their way through. His steps thundered about him in the hall, a seconds quickly following in pursuit as Youji fell behind in step.

When they found the room connecting to the lab, they found it in shambles. The rafters half eaten, the glass windows no longer whole, and the burn marks against the walls; the pools of dried blood beneath the bodies that could only have fallen at Siberians hands. Debris covered everything in sight; rubble.

* * *

He could feel the tips of his fingers start to tingle uncomfortably, and the numbness slowly creeping its way up his arm. Shivers wracked his body, from the sudden cold, from the fear, from the silence, from the darkness that encased him. 

"_Ken!"_

Footsteps quickly approached, crunching the glass and wreckage beneath their steps. His breathing hitched, concealing itself to the sounds that emanated.

Panic set in for a second time, fear inclosing him, pressing against his lungs.

Like a caged animal without sight.

He pressed further against the wall, his feet pushing to press him back uselessly as the panic continued to rise, the fear within his sightless eyes reigning.

He swung; claws fully extended despite the cold numbness within his hands – despite the two broken blades; he swing blindly.

In the silence, he could almost hear the blades cut through the air emptily, connecting with nothing. He could hear the blood that coursed through him pounding in his ears, but the wild beating of his heart sounding far above all others.

Youji quickly retreated, stepping back slightly in surprise, "Ken!"

Ken froze, his fist shaking as he held it before him, catching the name and the sound of the voice. "Yo-Youji…"

His hand fell, the rampant trembles continuing to wrack him; he no longer had the strength to even hold up his arm. He couldn't even see the worry that laced itself across the blondes face as he had tried to turn his eyes in the direction of the voice, or the worry etched across the red heads. All he could hear was the silence; he unbearable, sightless silence.

"Lets get you out of here." The voice was soft as it came almost whispered from the blonde.


	2. White

Blind

Part II

He was discharged from the hospital two days later. Two days in which Ken Hidaka spent in the almost soundless confines of darkness; in a pristine white washroom without color. One that he never saw. All he saw was the abyss of darkness and the unbearable silence of pity – two days with only the sound of his own thoughts. Thoughts that did nothing to comfort him.

One of the three of them stayed with him at all times, reluctant, as they were to leave his side for the briefest of moments. They remained silent for the most part; Omi and Youji having long given up on idle chatter, Ken having all but turned a deaf ear upon them.

It was when they left, even if only to step foot into the hall, that all hell broke loose.

When they'd arrived, they'd quickly been pushed from the hospital room and into the waiting area outside. Ken went into a shock of sort's seconds after.

At the sound of their ushered feet, their clipped protests, the click of the door sounding, Ken tentatively called out for them, no longer able to hear their voices, no longer able to feel the safety they presented.

"A-Aya…"

When one of the nurses, soundlessly approached him atop the table, and wordlessly placed a hand upon his chest to forcefully push him to lye back, he snapped.

A shrill scream from the nurse promptly followed, the crash of an iron tray as she stumbled back, the shuffle of feet, the distinct sound of pained groans and Ken's hysterical cry. "Aya! Aya!"

"No! Aya!"

Ran was through the door before he could even register his own thoughts, his voice quickly rising above the chaos suddenly surrounding him, "What the hell are you doing!"

At his voice, the staff quickly froze, hurriedly picking themselves up and stepping away from the hysterical brunette. The attending doctor, closest to the brunette huddled upon the floor, flinched, the drug already administered, the needle in hand.

Ken, slumped from his position to lie against the floor, his breathing heavy and although his eyes were unseeing they looked distant, as he was silent.

Ran frowned, his eyes flashing with anger as he spoke calmly to him as he crouched down beside him, his fingers running idly through his chocolate strands as he spoke in whispers to sooth him.

His words were unheard to all but to whom he spoke to; the words meant to sooth his fragile composition. When he turned his eyes back to the attendants, his anger had not dissipated and they never once left theirs.

"Youji," The order was issued unspoken as his fingers remained intertwined through his silken strands, and he understood, coming to sit beside the brunette and bring his head to rest within his lap and continued Ran's whispered words to him.

"Omi, call Manx again."

They may have been Kritiker doctors, but as far as Ran was concerned, their worth was as high as Kritiker targets.

When he once again turned his eyes to the staff, they were glossed with a chilling ice, those unfortunate to meet his gaze froze on spot, "Watch carefully what you do."

* * *

When everything was done, Ran having stayed with Ken throughout the examination, Ken was left no better. His eyes laid heavily swollen and wrapped with a thick gauze about his head. Shortly after Omi's call, Manx arrived infuriated, her words still echoing throughout the ward for all to hear as she once again reestablished her position to the attending doctors. 

A 'Temporary blindness', they had said, Manx still present within the room, that with the swelling and burns inflicted upon the area was indeterminable. Within two weeks, the outcome would be known. The likely hood of his eyesight returning was high, as in most cases. They explained it as somewhat of a temporary shock given to his eyes, because of the intensity of the explosion….

Ken was pretty sure that it was around here that his thoughts, already weaving in and out of consciousness, clouded from the injection, pitched and left him in a dreamless sleep.

Ran, who had been sitting at the head of the bed he was lying in, felt the sudden warmth against his side first. Startled at first and slowly turned to find Ken asleep against his leg, his fingers holding loosely to his shirt.

* * *

The date of discharge was filled with paperwork and the scheduling of follow up appointments leading up to the final appointment, where everything would finally have an answer. 

Omi took care of most of the paperwork at the front desk, leaving Ran to coordinate appointments with the doctor while Ken sat silently in the room with him, listening lifelessly at the beds edge in wait for Ran to finish and Youji to pull Seven around front.

Ken waited beneath the wide window in the single-bed room. It was closed, as windows usually are within hospitals, and clean of smudged fingerprints. The sun shone brightly outside, where he could feel the sunlight pour through the glass pane. Where he longed to be able to look out that window, instead he chose to ignore the warm feel of the sun as it rolled across his skin as it filtered through the glass.

* * *

The silence was becoming stifling, but it was nothing compared to the desuetude. 

The ride home was suffocating. He felt like he was drowning and the air was slowly being pushed from his lungs. He could almost feel it as it spilled over him, drowning the sounds about him and himself as well.

He tried to concentrate on the wind as it did block out most sounds, and the feel of it crashing over him as he desperately tried to ignore the sunlight against his skin, anything to dissuade the delusion.

Omi and Youji sat occasionally bickering in the front seat, nonsense words, and filling conversation to break the silence even as the radio hummed softly, though too drowned out occasionally by the wind. Ran sat beside him and left him alone, he didn't try to fill the air with useless words and for that he was thankful. He wasn't sure how much more of the barren and mundane words that talked of little things of unimportance he could take. It was almost worse than the silence, the pitying voices, the uncertain inflections that lined their words of what they fought to say, flitting around.

But in the end, he was fearful most of the whispers; the whispered words they thought he couldn't hear. They were uncertain, and it scared him.

He tried to tune them out, the conversation they held up front, and willed the wind to pick up in hopes that if he tried hard enough, it too would drown out their sound all together. Anything was better than their words, anything but his own thoughts; the person beside him, the passing cars, anything.

It was when the whispers fell again that the air became thick once more with the soft pitying words. His anger returned, searching for a way out of the crushing water that threatened to pull him under.

"Urusai!" His leg unconsciously shot up and kicked the back of the seat before him, "No matter what you may think, not being able to see does not equate to a loss of hearing."

Bringing his foot back down, he set it heavily upon the floor, never once changing positions, his elbow still propped upon the door, and his head within his hand.

The silence followed, undisturbed with broken whispers but left with pitying looks.

"Gomen, Ken-kun."

A smile ghosted across Ran's lips before disappearing. The Ken they knew was still there and still fighting behind that mask of despair.

* * *

A feeling of dread washed over him almost immediately. 

"Come on Ken, It'll be great! Just let Uncle Youji take care of you."

He could quickly feel the tension coiling in his stomach turning into a vile Nauseasness…

He'd be staying with Youji for the next two weeks.

He suppressed a groan. He could already envision the endless torture awaiting him. The countless sex jokes, the phone conversations he didn't want to overhear, the horrifying stories he'd much rather not know, and the nights of drunkenness from the egotistical sex maniac.

Oh, he was in capable hands.

"I'll be dead by the end of the week with you." He sighed, as fatigue started to wash over him. All those damn pills he was taking, he swore.

Youji laughed, and although Ken had been serious he kept all further comments to himself as the blonde threw a rather rough pat across his back, jostling him. It wasn't something he was looking forward to, rooming with Youji, but he knew that along with shop duty and other things, Omi had school, and was therefore withdrawn from the potential candidates. That left Ran and Youji. And Ran…

Ran was Ran. He wanted nothing to do with anyone, and out of the three of them, Ken seemed to particularly annoy the red head most, without even meaning to. Ken would be the person Ran wished to spend time with the least.

But still, he couldn't help but remembering his soft, and soothing words and the warm feel of his fingers through his hair as the drug they'd administered him began to take effect all to suddenly. He hadn't annoyed him then, he seemed almost worried, if that were possible. And he remembered his soft voice, and the wave of something he couldn't describe…

He'd called him. His name was the one that fell from him as they'd been pushed from the hospital room. He was who he'd called for in a moment of panic…

He couldn't explain it; no reasoning came to his mind. When he'd yelled for him, he didn't even know it was Ran who he was calling. All he remembered was the desperation he held in his voice. All he knew was the person he was calling for would protect him while he couldn't himself.

But it didn't make any sense, logically, wouldn't it have been Omi, or Youji he called for? He was closer to the two. But thinking about it, even though he knew their jobs, he couldn't actually see Omi storming in to save the day, and he could just see Youji coming in… and forgetting about him for the lovely nurse he'd pushed aside in his panic.

But that's only coming to think about it now, would he have subconsciously come to these thoughts at the time? No, he mumbled to himself, his brain didn't work that way. The only thing he registered at the time was his fear, his panic. He could think of nothing else…

So, why was it he'd called for Ran?

And why did Ran answer?

He unconsciously tugged at his bangs.

* * *

"Ken! What are you doing!" 

_Three days._

Three days was the amount of time in between.

Three days from his release from the hospital.

Three days in Youji's care.

Three days in the unending darkness, the unyielding silence.

Three days was how long it lasted.

Three days before he snapped.

The frustration had quickly mounted, the nervousness always present, it consumed him, the underlying fear.

His outbursts started few and far between, relatively small, a quick verbal spar, an angry shout, a blind first thrown in Youji's unknown direction when he came quietly upon him.

Youji fought quickly to quietly calm the disturbed brunette down, once or twice with the aid of Omi, the noise having brought him from across the hall in his own apartment. But the outbursts were quickly escalating, and becoming uncontrollable, and more than the blonde could handle.

He'd been in the hall, his hand running across the painted white wall when his foot hit something unfamiliar. He'd stumbled and shouldered into the protruding corner before fumbling to the floor. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence, for while he knew his own room like the back of his hand, Youji's was unfamiliar and alien to him, especially when walking _blind_.

His legs were already covered with small bruises, his thighs from hitting waist high objects.

The pain in his shin had barely subsided when he lashed out.

Anger, frustration, aggravation, annoyance, resentment, _fear_, they all poured from him, searching for a release, searching for something to pacify him, someone to reassure him, to ease his fear.

Pictures rattled from the wall, his fist driving against it to break through the plaster. Objects shattered from their shelves as he tore past, the shelves themselves no longer in tact. What his hands could reach, he threw blindly, satisfied only when he heard it connect with the opposing wall.

"Ken! Fuck, calm down!"

He'd been carrying on for the past ten minutes, Youji's attempts to soothe him falling short of reaching him. His worry for the young brunette quickly turned to anger however as he continued and his attempts returned unsuccessful. Wordlessly, he reached from behind him, grabbing his shoulder in one more attempt to restrain him.

And it all came flooding back.

The crimson blood that rained down at his own hands, the pools about the bodies. The white lab coats splattered in it, his, theirs, he couldn't remember. The nameless faces, the name tags no longer readable, the chaos, the utter chaos… And the sudden encompassing darkness, the feel of utter terror when he'd first opened his eyes, the targets who'd ambushed him, who rationally he knew he'd cut down on their numbers, but the sudden fear of their return. The trap they'd laid just before and not knowing where they were after. The _fear._

Blindly, he swung, with nothing but the darkness about him as the blonde continued to try to restrain him.

"Ken!"

His words could not breach the darkness, pressing from all sides, suffocating.

Ken's fist connected with the wall again, his hand breaching the plaster to violently pull his arm from its jagged edges. He didn't register the pain or the feel of the blood as it trickled down his wrist and knuckles as he ripped it from the wall.

"Wow! Ken, calm down!"

"Fuck! Ken!"

He didn't hear the words, nothing but the sound of his own heart beating within him, the sound of it within his ears. He didn't hear the access footfall as it entered into the room, nothing but the demons that he lashed at. Nothing but the sound of his own heart, nothing but the blood.

Youji stumbled backwards, a string of curses befalling him as he assessed the damage to his jaw at the ill-timed doge and lucky shot thrown his way.

It was Ran who liththly stepped over the shattered remnants of glass and broken objects that now encased the floor as he easily slid behind the heaving brunette. Who, with one fluid motion, slid his arms under the brunettes, clasping his hands to his shoulders.

He hesitated when Ken froze and trembled before returning to the violent struggle in fear.

With a breath, Ran pressed to the side of the brunette's face, against the trembling form before him, whispering into his ear, "Ken…. Relax, calm down. I'm not going to hurt you."

The words brought an abrupt calm to wash over him, working well to render him still almost immediately before his body fell limp against his.

"Fuck, Aya! He's all yours! I can't control him!" Youji's voice broke the moment of silence, his arms thrown wide to the mess about him. "He's all yours!"

Ran turned an uncaring and almost bored eye toward Youji, aware of Ken's breathing as it hitched, feeling him stiffen against him.

And he whispered, once more, soft enough for only him to hear, "Relax."

Slowly, he released his hold upon the brunette, before he suddenly felt the weight in his arms become dead, and slowly lowered with him to the floor.

He crouched down with him, never once breaking contact with him, keeping a hand upon his side.

A little later, Ran left him for a moment or two, still on the floor, leaving to talk to Youji in a short conversation he wasn't able to overhear from the hallway as they had moved elsewhere. When he came back, carrying a duffle bag over his right shoulder, he bent down beside him without a word. He remained silent for a moment, watching him, before turning to look at the mess about him and returning to him.

"Did you trip?" As before, his voice was soft, though it seemed disinterested, his eyes carefully watching, noticing his hands clench, as he remained unresponsive.

Ken didn't answer as to how it had started and Ran didn't press for an answer. The bruises covering his legs answer enough.

When a warm hand gingerly pressed against his, Ken abruptly pulled away, shaking.

And Ran waited before speaking, "Relax, let me see your hand."

Reaching once again for his hand, he held still a moment, waiting for Ken's reaction, any sign to show he could continue. His hand didn't move from his again.

Assessing the damage to his knuckles and wrist, he gently reached for the brunettes other hand, and while he flinched in the slightest, he made no further movements from him. Pulling upon his arms, he helped the younger man to his feet, dropping the injured arm and keeping the other in tow as the walked from the apartment.

"W-Where are we going?"

His voice was almost broken from disuse, cracked and barely above a whisper. And when Ran didn't answer, his feet stopped.

Ran turned about, hand still within his, and studied the figure behind him, his head hung low as he tensed, unseen to the eye but felt through his touch.

"My apartment, to wrap your hand. Then I thought I'd make dinner." His head tilted to the side slightly, as he noticed the brunette weakly try to pull away.

He'd need to remember to rethink his words before saying them, he thought as he looked back at his spoken. "For us. You're staying with me."

He squeezed his hand in an attempt to reassure him, and waited as Ken took a tentative step forward before continuing on, keeping their hands locked.

* * *

**TBC**

Apologies are necessary I think, on my part. I'm sorry this chapter took me so long to put up. It took me a long time to go through and edit, and re-edit in a never-ending cycle. This chapter also took a bit longer than expected to write, I realized that I really couldn't follow my initial way of writing style in the first chapter into the second. It really didn't fit, and while I don't think the style is all that different, it seems be bothering me a bit. However, in no way will this change the plot line.

Also, this chapters a bit slow, but it's all leading up to something, so please bare with it. I was reluctant to put much more in this because it seemed so long for just one chapter as it was.

A special Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, they're very encouraging! So keep at it, and tell me what you think! Few reviews means little interest, and little interest to me means it isn't worth it to continue. Tell me what you think!

On another note, I finally got around to setting up a forum. I'll put up progress updates to current stories, and idea's to plots of upcoming stories.


	3. Habits

**Blind**

Part III

_Observing Habits _

The difference was staggering.

The fact that he could feel it was like a cold rush washing over him;

It flooded him as soon as he stepped through the apartments front door.

The tones, the haunting black about him changed almost instantly. They softened, muting to a dark gray, a shade lighter than the haunting black. A shade lighter than the all-consuming darkness he'd first woken to. It starkly contrasted itself.

The air though, he couldn't describe. Though the temperature was well adjusted to suit the inside occupants he couldn't help suppress the cold shiver that ran across his spine, for the room felt strangely cold. Not in the temperature itself, bit in the sense that the room felt cold because it was untouched and unused.

The room felt barren.

It didn't feel like a place that should be called home.

The hand holding his arm suddenly pulled him once more into moving, keys jingling as they were removed. They stopped briefly outside what Ken assumed to be the spare bedrooms door, where Ran let the bag at his shoulder slide to his hand and moved to set it on the inside right of the door. At the bags drop, Ken was once more lead along the hallway and into the bathroom where he was deposited atop the toilet seat.

It wasn't until then that Ran actually broke contact with him. It was abrupt and his hand left a warm impression upon his skin that almost seemed to burn. Ken brought up his own hand to lay over the impression, unconsciously wanting to keep the fleeting warmth that tingled across his skin.

Sounds could be heard as Ran rummaged through the cabinets beneath the sink, pulling forth a small medical kit. Ken sat still, curiously listening as Ran set the medical kit upon the sink counter to sort through its contents. Listening as Ran turned the sinks taps, to the sound of the water pouring into the basin as he felt for the water temperature.

"Hold out your hand."

* * *

Ran noticed it halfway through finishing the wrap on his knuckles, the dark stain on the brunette's side, bleeding through his shirt. In the course of his struggle Ken must have managed to tear the stitches from his side. Ran sighed mentally and verbally voiced his thoughts, "Take off your shirt, it looks like you managed to rip a few of your stitches." 

Ken almost flinched and Ran was unsure of the cause, his words or the fact he hadn't noticed. Either way his hand moved to his side, gently laying atop the area; another flinch as his hand moved back slightly in recoil. Ran took this all in with curiosity before turning momentarily to sort through the contents of the medical kit for a second time, looking for a needle and thread. When he turned back, Ken still hadn't removed his shirt.

"Ken… I need to re stitch your side."

"Get Omi." It was almost whispered, darkly contrasting the icy tone he exerted. It wasn't a question; the sudden commanding tone in his voice was enough to startle even Ran. However his brows only knitted slightly together in question when his eyes took in the straining hand holding the hem of his shirt.

He didn't argue, though he thought it curious.

* * *

Omi closed the door to the spare room securely behind him, waiting to hear the soft click before sighing. Letting his hand fall from the doors handle he stood straight once more, his eyes going to the lean figure leaning against the wall across from him, his arms folded neatly over his chest; his eyes demanding an explination. 

He let out a breath, his voice soft as he stepped away from the door, heading towards the bathroom as the figure followed. "When Ken first arrived here, he was distraught and prone to violent and suicidal tendencies. Considering what happened to him, its understandable. His condition however, only continued to deteriorate from there."

He paused at the water basin, turning the taps to run his hands through the warming temperature. Turning the taps once more, he reached for the hand towel to his right before looking solemnly to the figure now leaning against the doorframe.

"He went berserk two months in on a mission. We tried everything to subdue him, reasoning, force… We couldn't even get near him. We used Youji's wire as a last resort. However we were quickly forced to cut the line when he continued to struggle against the wire, regardless of the injuries he was inflicting upon himself.

We ended up using a tranquilizing dart while he was still tangled within the wire, which we shouldn't have, considering his considerable blood loss. With the numerous injuries obtained during the mission, it was amazing he was even able to stand, let alone going into his berserk rage."

Omi's fingertips rubbed tiredly against his temple. " I asked Manx about it sometime later. She wouldn't go into specifics but from what I gathered, he doesn't feel the pain of inflicted injuries. Something to do with erratic adrenaline rushes that were noted during his Kritiker training." Omi paused, uncertain in whether he should continue. He wasn't sure he had the right to; it wasn't his story to tell.

"Omi."

Omi flinched slightly at the tone, placing his weight atop the counter as he placed his hands against it. There were two ways this information could be taken, and either way, Ken was likely to feel a sense of betrayal.

"When we got home, after that mission, we set to inspecting the numerous injuries he had sustained. We didn't notice anything when we took his shirt off at first, a few miscellaneous scars here and there, nothing outside our line of work. It was when we had to stitch the injury running along his lower torso connecting with his thigh… They start just barely above his torso on his left side, a set of four, his own weapon. Still new and self inflicted, according to Manx, from his time with her and the training unit in Kritiker. It was his second suicidal attempt in their care before he was brought here.

They're not as prominent as they once were, but still noticeable. There almost hidden by the burn marks he'd sustained prior to Kritiker."

Omi sighed once again, pushing at the countertop to stand upright, to fold his arms across his chest, locking his eyes with the figure leaning against the doorframe, "His reasoning is his own, but they're a constant reminder of everything that's been taken from him. Everything he's had to endure just to keep living. A burden he wishes to keep to himself."

Ran let his eye slowly lower to the floor, away from the dejected look Omi's eyes held.

In the spare room, Ken, in his pretense of sleep, lay atop the bed. His hands folded comfortably behind his head atop the pillow as he listened to the voices outside the door.

* * *

_Darkening dreams, dreams that haunt the soul, devouring the pieces left behind of a now shattered self. Everything seemed to be twisting, flailing within the wind and taking everything away from him once again._

_Screams, pained gasps and the sounds of falling ruble; the sounds echoed within the memories replaying; continuous and never ending. They never ceased, they only grew, let loose the nightmare and let grow the fear that never dissipated._

He could still hear them, their voices, the voices of those caught within the explosion. Just as he was, the ones he hadn't gotten to before the blinding flash of light and the deafening roar.

He could still hear the sound of his own thoughts, the thoughts that screamed at him with fear. With such an intensity, it almost bleached out the oppressing darkness, a bloodless white.

It was the soft knock upon the door that brought him from his sleep, from the torturous voices surrounding him. He sat upright with a gasp, breathing heavily.

_Why…_

He could feel the tension start to throb in his temples, pulsating with the heavy beating of his heart. The pain was starting to wash over him, slowly trickling to life. He let his head fall to the hands within his lap, his fingers pulling at his thick chocolate locks.

The figure at the door watched with an intensity, eyes holding onto him with a worry; he wanted to understand.

His breathing hadn't yet returned to normal when Ran stepped forward, placing a hand softly upon his shoulder. An unwise decision on his part.

Ken shot back, his hand pushing away his own and stumbled back upon the bed. His whole body shook, rigid with tension. His breathing almost stopped, his ears trying to hear above the beating of his own heart.

"Ken…"

Ken's heart skipped a beat, his breathing stopping all together at the voice.

"Ken…" Ran tried again, trying to break through the fear gripped terror. "Calm down, Listen to my voice…"

* * *

"Sit here." 

Complying, Ken situated himself atop the wooden barstool, his hands tentatively reaching out to brush atop the counter to turn his stool appropriately.

It was awkward, and uncomfortable to say the least, he felt it within himself, and within the air. The usual easygoing air about him, his outgoing nature, both had left him in one sudden instant.

He worked to find his voice, but he couldn't get it to breach his own lips. No thoughts came to his mind, nothing but an abyss of silence. A non-existent voice did not have the ability to carry itself to the kitchens only other occupant as he made his way about it noisily with the closing of cabinets and clinking of glass set upon counters. A voice wouldn't rise when his own thoughts wouldn't form coherently in the darkness.

He was dead weight, shuffled from person to person when they no longer cared.

He felt like a burden; useless.

His fingers held to the materials of his jeans.

A burden had no purpose; it was useless and only furthered the weight upon the shoulders it was burdening. What hope had he? What hope had a person who held no hope to begin with, only doubts?

Ken's head shot up, turning slightly to each side, trying to pick up any sound in the sudden silence or detect any movement from the redhead. "Easy, I'm reading directions."

Ran's voice startled him, but soon put him at ease, his shoulders quickly dropping to relax. However much it may have relaxed him, Ran's gaze focused on the fingers that had moved to the countertop, knuckles white with a grip that never relinquished. Another habit he'd noticed.

Leaning over the counter, Ran straightened, pushing the book away from him slightly with his movement as his eyes traveled about the kitchen when the realization hit him; it was the _silence_.

It was the _silence_ that Ken feared.

He looked once more over the kitchen before finding the small radio hidden atop the books and plants adorning the shelves. Gently turning its small black knob, the sound began to slowly trickle to life. And he watched yet again as the brunette's hands visibly relaxed and loosened in their hold to the counter, traces of an invisible smile washing over his face.

The soft voice of the announcer quickly settled over the unbearable silence for Ken, easily filling in the uncomfortable void.

Ran let a ghost of a smile grace his own lips, his eyes softening at the tension that visibly eased away from the insecurity the brunette faced. While he may not be much of a talker himself, Ran knew filling the silence with useless words would do nothing for Ken, nor would they settle the unease. They would only let grow the uncertainty of the words and let grow the feeling of being pitied; Ran knew Ken enough to know this.

While spoken words were necessary for communication, they were often needed to sooth and uneasy ones would be detrimental, but at the same time he could see with hearing now his primary sense, he relied upon it heavily. And as an assassin his instincts and reflexes would be in overdrive with the uncertainty, the unknowing. The silence would be fear itself.

* * *

He'd taken to observing his every action, his every move. Down to the tension of his muscles, his reactions and the lack they're of. The tentative outreach of his hand, the softened touch of his fingertips as they reached out to brush against any surface, the clenching of his hands when distraught, tense or afraid. Down to the movement of his lips, his mouth, his frown, the smile it never displayed, the tension and fear it tried to hide. They were new habits recently brought forth as he fought to deal with everything happening to him at once. 

Ran found the old, the normal, everyday habits the most interesting, like the gentle tug upon his bangs when deep in thought. The growl he made when he was only slightly annoyed with something, the way he played with his food when he wanted to ask something, but couldn't quite get it out. The way he fell off his chair because of his own clumsiness, and yet somehow managed to end up with one leg still atop the chair while he himself was sprawled across the floor, and stunned.

But Ran missed the habits Ken had before, the clumsiness, the enthusiasm, the jump or yell upon the sofa he used to make when his favorite team delivered the winning score. The over watering of plants in the shop, his out of breath and disheveled look when he was late for a shift. His hot headed, brash and headstrong nature. These were the things he no longer displayed.

They were so different; a _before_ _and after_.

_Before_ he was brash, unhesitant, and headstrong.

_Before_ he laughed, a beautiful sound that knew no limits, just like the smile he was unafraid to let show, a dazzling display that affected all. It always held hope.

The Ken he knew, always managed to somehow surprise him. Always changing his perception, his understanding of him and leaving Ran right back where he started, at the very beginning.

Just like he was now.

The Ken _now_, the brunette that now sat before him was like a record on continuous repeat; looping, endlessly repeating itself. He was silent, timid and nervous. He hesitated where he would never have done so before. He was tense and angry at everything; and he was afraid. _This_ brunette held no hope.

Fear was something easily recognizable to him, all he had to do was look into any one persons eyes to find it. But Ken's eyes were hidden beneath a blindfold; even still, it was his habits, the way he carried himself that confirmed his findings. It was blatant, it shouted, it _screamed_.

At the same time, however, it wasn't something easily recognizable. With just a glance, you'd overlook the small almost transparent details; if you weren't looking to find them.

Ken tried to hide them, with the cautiousness he put forth in his steps but they were in the tension in the way he stood, in his every breath, it was in his every move.

As he watched he saw the broken figure the brunette, once so full of life had become; and it disturbed him.

* * *

Out of the new habits that arose, the most notable was done in a hope that the fear that was created because of his lack of sight would calm; the silence. 

Every night Ken would find himself within the living room. Regardless of the items he hit, or the bruises he accumulated on each nightly excursion, he'd make his way to the sofa after blindly fumbling with the television. He made no attempt to make himself comfortable, yet he sat so that his chin rest upon his knees, drawing them up to wrap his arms tightly around them.

It was like this every night right around the same time. Sometimes later depending on how hard or how long he'd tried to fall asleep before finally giving up.

The sound of the television was always turned up just enough for him to hear and never louder. Made so, Ran believed, so as not to disturb him, he didn't want it known.

The living room was always dark by the time Ken stumbled in, the lights having been turned off long ago for the night. The only light source would come from the television, as the footage flickered across the screen and over the brunettes figure.

Awake he never moved, it was like he never allowed himself to become comfortable, he was constantly on alert, listening to everything, waiting almost, and his body was always tense.

Ran waited for when sleep did eventually over take him hours later. He waited for the tell tale signs, when his head would begin to slowly drop and his arms would finally grow lax in their grip. When his head would finally fall to the pillows, and his body would bring itself to curl up upon the sofa. He waited for the first whiles of sleep and watched as it brought the only relaxed expression that graced his face nowadays.

* * *

Ran had usually retired to his room for the evening by the time Ken had left his own for the living room. It was rare to ever catch him leaving his own room, let alone hear him. 

Tonight was different.

Tonight, he could hear the sound of the television a peak higher than normal, carrying itself down into the hallways. Tonight, the excited replaying of the announcer didn't broadcast over the television; tonight he wasn't listening to the soccer match.

Was it curiosity that brought him from his bed? Or a carefully masked concern?

Whatever it was, it quickly brought him to find the brunette awake and tense. His body sitting rigid upon the sofa, his knuckles bleeding white with his arms wrapped stiffly about his knees.

Curiosity had him stop and stand still within the entrance. Concern made him want to take a step further.

And yet he hesitated when Ken's head moved slightly to where he stood, his presence noticed. When his head turned back a moment later, Ran could see the hands clutching the fabric of his pants tighten within his hands and he took that step forward, stepping from his standing against the wall.

Ken wasn't listening to the soccer match, it's a movie Ran doesn't recognize playing across the screen when he moves to settle down upon the sofa next to the brunette and bring his arm to lay behind his head across the sofa's backing. It's something with car explosions and gunfire every few seconds, mafia lords and drug rings, "There are better things to listen to," he says.

He quickly finds the remote and changes it to something with light humor.

Ran can see the laughter that wants so much to return upon his face, but Ken does not laugh; Ran knows the fear outweighs it, and he knows the tears that would fall if he let it return.

At the weight that settles down beside him, Ken relaxes, even if only a little bit it's a significant change. When Ran stays, and watches the movie playing as the brunette listens, Ran can feel the tension leave his ragged body the longer he stays.

It's nearly three before he feels the telling weight against his shoulder; the brunette having finally surrendered to the sleep so desperately calling to him.

* * *

They'd settled into a comfortable routine after that and although Ken has his own room set up, Ran lets him sleep upon the sofa undisturbed unless circumstances warrant it. 

Ran however, knows the sofa not to be the most comfortable of places to sleep and he knows he'll never hear the brunette complain. He never speaks unless prompted too.

That's probably what prompted him to buy the small CD player, or at least, that's what he told himself when he bought the handful of recordings from the bookstore.

That's what he told himself when he placed the small player within Ken's room and left the volume just as it was within the living room. So he wouldn't have to sleep upon the sofa, but rather within the bed and beneath the blankets.

* * *

It was oddly strange to find a steady silence within the nights now, and it was the silence that he found oddly strange as he sat reading within his room. 

The brunette had fallen asleep earlier than usual that day, but within the hour he could hear the sleep turn fitful and he listened to the haunted toss and turn and the rustle of sheets through the open doors and thin walls.

It was the silence that had him put the book in hand aside and take from his eyes the glasses atop his nose.

_He couldn't breath. _

_It was overbearing, the pressure. It was pressing into him from all angles, smothering him, taking the air from his lungs. _

_It was suffocating, the thickness of the air, the heaviness; the darkness._

_It was overbearing. _

The tension between his temples was quick to form and was quickly becoming unbearable between the sudden sharp twinges to the low dull and alternating thud.

Ran brought himself to stand within Ken's doorway, leaving the only light source the overhead light within the hallway to spill into the room as he tried to assess the situation.

Ken had barely managed to push himself to his hands and knees from lying upon his stomach on the bed when he stopped. His forehead hovered inches above the sheets as a hand tangled through disheveled chocolate locks. The hand holding him up shook slightly, his fingers tangling with the sheets about him

The fingers through his hair continued straining through his mused locks as his body rocked back slightly, a muffled moan slightly escaping his lips. The hand moves shakily to bush over the rough texture of the bandage wrapped about his eyes.

Ran's own eyes narrow and he waits a brief moment before knocking on the door.

The sound startles Ken, his head jerking up towards him. The action causes a low hiss to immediately curse through his clenched teeth as he lowers his head once again at the pain it causes.

His breathing is slightly irregular and his hand has once again gone to clutch his temple.

But Ran is no longer within the doorway, the only indication of his presence is left by the sound of his retreating footsteps; footsteps Ken cannot hear over the pounding within his head.

He doesn't hear the sound of the returning footfall either as it enters his room. All Ken registers is the cool warmth against his forehead, almost willing the pain to stop.

He doesn't register the feel of the extra weight upon the bed as the bed slops slightly with it. He doesn't think about the cool hands drawing him close, pulling him into their lap. Only about the sudden coolness against his fevered flesh, and the soothing fingers running through his hair as he unknowingly clutches the others wrist.

He doesn't hear the concerned words as they are spoken as his head falls to Ran's shoulder, only the feel of the fingers gently massaging his head.

The feel of cool lips against his own briefly startles him, but he doesn't fight it, he doesn't have the strength. He doesn't try to push away from them when that mouth opens and a cold liquid is forced into his. He's still as he is made to swallow it, water dripping from his mouth as those lips detach themselves briefly before fingers gently hook under his chin and force his head up and those lips return once again, prying his mouth open and forcing him to swallow once more before leaving him breathless.

He can faintly hear the voice calling his name, the intensity to it, the worry, but it feels far away and the air feels lighter, less pressing about him.

That's all, before he falls lifelessly in Ran's arm, his fingers continuing to work through his hair and run across his back.

Ran sighs as he feels Ken begin to drift to an induced slumber. The pills he forced upon him already beginning to take affect, relieving the pain. But he'll stay with him throughout the night, his fingers continuing to play through chocolate locks as he himself picks up his book once again.

Periodically through the night, Ken will wake for a moment or two and he'll be unable to smoothly fall back to sleep and his body will begin to toss. This is when Ran does something Ken will find curious later.

Ran will softly start so speak and Ken's not to sure of the words, unable to hear exactly what it is he's saying at first, but slowly as his voice begins to break through and calmly wash over him, Ken settles, his head pressed once again against Ran's leg and Ran's fingers once again find their way through his hair and he begins to make out a little more of what he is saying. Its not so much what Ran is saying that intrigues him, more so is the fact that rather, Ran is reading to him.

And it's like the sun across his skin, warming him; soothing his every fear temporarily, and he begins to once again fall asleep, just as curiosity begins to creep into the back of his thoughts.

TBC

* * *

Once again I apologize for the I>long /I> delay! Also for this rather lengthy chapter. Over the course of two weeks, after finishing this, I've gone through, chopped, edited, revised, and butchered it. After two weeks of editing, if there is a mistake in there, I doubt I'm going to find it. For which I am currently looking for a couple of Beta's. If you're interested, my email address is within the profile page. 

This chapter, I'm not particularly happy with. The style has changed dramatically within it, and it bothers me a great deal. The next chapter will though, I believe be going back more to the beginning style.As always, reviews are greatly appreciated!


	4. Little things

**Blind**

-Part IV-

_the little things_

* * *

It's _little _things Ken is beginning to notice. 

Small, insignificant things that are curious to him, because it's the insignificant things that have suddenly become so significant.

Its nothing he can visibly see, but rather things that are related to the fact that he is unable to. Its little things that calm him down right before he's had enough, right before his anger breaks.

Its insignificant things that make his skin warm and make the beating of his heart heavy. It's the little things he wants to shout at, but somehow is never able to find the voice, for fear they'll go away.

But it's the little voice in the back of his mind that never goes away; _are you doing this out of pity?_

He wants to ask, but he can't find the voice.

* * *

It's the little things, the insignificant ones that have become so significant that it makes his heart ache. 

It scared him at first, the terrible soundless abysses of utter darkness. It frightened him.

Being unable to see the people so near to him, let alone feel their presence, it was like the cold shiver that whispered down his spine that terrified him.

It left his mind blank, his breathing heavy and caused a cold sweat to wash over him; an uncontrollable fear that let out an unconquerable rage. With one whisper in his ear, one hand upon his shoulder and his hand within his, and it was enough to placate him.

The midnight sofa hopping became a refuge of sorts to him, one that taunted him nonetheless; Opening what could lay before him.

To only be able to listen to the game he loves so much and think he may never again be able to play or watch the game that was everything to him was something he wasn't sure he could bear.

What would the permanent loss of his vision bring?

To Kritiker he would no longer be of use; _expendable_. After all, how deadly was a blind assassin?

To the family of sort's he'd found_; a burden_. How long before he became a nuisance, one who was nothing but a burden upon them? He'd once again be alone, but this time, he'd no longer have the game that brought him through it the first time; or dead. Either outcome, physically or mentally, he would no longer be living.

These little things always grew into ones he was unable to handle. But it was the little things that calmed him; the curiosity overwhelmed him, it startled him to find the blanket upon him that first night he'd fallen asleep upon the sofa.

To have fallen asleep without so much as hearing the footfall approach him, or feel the blanket as it was draped over him.

But the curiosity was stronger, and the confusion was consuming.

It was all the small things;

The radio that played softly within the kitchen as Ran prepared dinner, or lunch if he felt up to it. To the small CD player mysteriously bought and placed within his room, with the CD's of recorded broadcasts of his favorite soccer games.

The privacy he was given, with no questions asked; from his first night he'd ripped his stitches in his side and asked for Omi, to the curiosity of being left alone at midnight.

To knowing when that privacy desperately needed to be breached, and coming to sit silently with him till he falls asleep.

To last night when the pain and fear had been so great he was unable to move, let alone think, and Ran had stayed with him throughout the night, throughout ever re-occurring fear.

He could still feel those cool fingertips running across his skin, against his back, playing through his hair. But it was the sudden warmth upon his lips that broke through his fear and pain induced haze.

It broke through everything.

Just the thought of it was enough to calm him, and take away the fear within him, sending a blush to rise to his cheeks and a warmth to spread throughout his body; something strange fluttered within his stomach.

Ken had taken to noticing little things; even without his sight, he was hard pressed not to feel the warmth of Ran's gaze upon him, watching, observing.

Even without seeing him, Ken had come to always tell when Ran was near. It had come slow, because even with sight, it had always been hard to tell when Ran approached, his silent stealth was uncanny. Telling when the redhead was near now was five times as trying. But his other senses seemed hard pressed to make up for the fifths sudden disappearance; intensifying.

It was almost as if Ran was testing him. He was always near, testing Ken's ability to take and notice, to determine his whereabouts. And Ran was constantly being surprised.

In the beginning, Ran's little tests were just that, _little_. These little tests could also be seen, however as an attempt to ease the tension and fear he knew Ken to be in. Making him once again comfortable and unafraid of the darkness and the silence.

In the beginning it was only an observation from across the room, in which Ran tried to understand. Gradually it became an approach with a small noise attached to draw his attention.

It became a silent approach, with an equally as silent noise, given to gage his reactions, to a sudden hand upon his shoulder with no forewarning, no sound.

It was unnerving at first, and it took time to adjust to each little trial, but little by little the tension these little things caused eased away, and the fear lessened; even if it never truly went away.

But Ran noticed something, even if Ken himself hadn't. Ken's reflexes were slowly becoming finely tuned; catching the proper sound, Ken easily caught Ran's hand the next time he tried at these little tests.

Ken wasn't sure where all these little tests were going, or what they were leading up to, but they all came up with the same result; he was left more uncertain than ever. He didn't have to wait long to find out though.

* * *

"Get dressed" 

Ken fought the urge to jump at the sudden demand. He would have sent a questioning scowl Ran's way if he could, but as it was his eyes were still locked beneath the imprisoning blindfold, along with his sight.

Instead, he was left to answer in the way that had become quite frequent; he didn't answer at all. He simply held still the spoon within his bowl.

Ken found it almost amusing how easily he set Youji off with this, while in contrast Ran was able to role right with it.

He fiddled with the spoon a moment or two, tossing his breakfast about in its bowl as he waited for Ran to continue. This is how he found it _almost _amusing, Ran didn't bother to repeat himself nor elaborate upon the subject.

Apparently 'get dressed' was enough information. His mouth twitched, that non existent, elaboration came in extremely handy when he was later ushered from his room and out the apartment, via Ran who currently had him in tow.

He had to feel sorry for Raggedy Anne, he really did.

He was dragged down another flight of stairs and through the garage before he was unceremoniously deposited into Ran's Porsche. A bag was thrown heavily into the trunk before Ran joined him in the drivers seat and started the engine. He could practically see Ran smirking.

They arrived to wherever it was they were supposed to have been arriving to a short while later. And just to make it amusing, he told himself, Ken refused to get out of the car when Ran left the drivers side and picked up the bag he'd placed within the trunk.

He refused to move, and that very well might have been the reasoning if he'd hadn't glued himself to the seat. He was more than a little uncertain being dragged out without so much of a word in explanation. That little fear that never left bought itself forward and made itself known.

While he trusted Ran, and knew he would never hurt him, he didn't know where they were or what they were doing; all sorts of alarms were going off within him, his reasoning gone.

Ran waited patiently before crouching down next to the now open passenger side door. He took notice of the hands holding tightly to the seatbelt across the brunette's chest, a reoccurring habit when fear started to seat itself.

Ran calmly sighed before placing a hand over his in reassurance, reaching over with the other to the buckle and unlocking it. He waited for the tension to visibly lessen in his hands before taking his hand within his own and helping him from the car without a fight.

Ken found his voice shortly after, still in tow. "W-Where are we going?"

Ran wasn't surprised to hear his voice, he'd actually been waiting for it in hopes with what he was about to do would ease some of his tension and let out some of the brunettes frustration.

He heard the jingle of keys being fished from Ran's pocket, "The warehouse on the north side."

_Kritiker owned. _

Ken froze, halting mid step, but they were already through the door.

_He'd been betrayed, Kritiker didn't want him anymore. And Ran.. Ran had.._

He pulled at the hand holding his, desperate to get away. He turned, trying to relinquish the hold on him, pulling from it. Arms suddenly encircled his waist, lifting him up as he continued to struggle.

"Ken! The North Side! The North Side is the training gym Kritiker gave us!" Rain grunted, Ken's struggle suddenly ceasing at his words.

"We haven't given you up, we haven't," He reassured, suddenly aware of what it had looked like to Ken; the deepest of betrayals. "I promise."

Ran slowly let loose his hold, tossing the duffle bag from his shoulders to the floor to rummage through it after making sure he was alright.

Tossing a pair of heavy gloves his way, "Put these on"

Ken stood in utter confusion, weighing the objects within his hand.

"Hurry up or I'll start without you."

This was utterly ridiculous, "Start what?"

"This"

**THWACK! **Ken stumbled to the side, trying to keep his balance at the sudden hit.

"Did you just hit me!"

"Better hurry up."

Ken blanched, what the hell was Ran thinking!

**Thwack!**

Ken stumbled back again at the impact to his shoulder.

"Are you trying to kill me!"

"Gloves."

**Thwack!**

The blows were getting stronger, he could feel a prominent sting in his right shoulder from the last one in the continuous beating.

"_Aya_!"

"You can stop calling me that anytime now." His voice was changing directions now.

"If I call you Ran will you stop hitting me?" A laugh, he turned, the voice was now to the left of him, "Gloves"

Ken cursed, fumbling to put them on. He couldn't find the opening to put them on properly.

Feet bounced against the floor matt's, "Hold on! Time out. I cant get them on!"

The bouncing footfall stopped, "Alright, hold on."

Ken held back a grin as Ran approached, keeping his lips tightly in a firm line in frustration. Ran made quick work of sliding the first glove on and tying the lace. He barely had the second on when Ken tried to relax his jaw with the thought of sweet revenge.

What the hell was Ran thinking! This wasn't like him, this was written in Youji's contract for stupidity.

"They on?"

Ran grunted.

Ken let both fists fly.

Two very distinct _thwacks _were heard throughout the warehouse; the second broad siding Ran's shoulder, the first hitting him squarely upside the head. "What the hell are you hitting me for! What's wrong with your brain!"

Another fist thrown and he took advantage or Ran's momentary shock and confusion and jumped him. Managing to efficiently knock him to the floor with a tumble, Ken brought himself to sit promptly upon the red heads back; and refused to move.

* * *

It shouldn't have come as a surprise. It was underhanded and downright sneaky and one mean right hook; it was Ken. 

He had to stifle the voice of laughter threatening to bubble and settled for a small smile at the _olds _return.

Coming here had very little to do with training, he had hoped to ease a small amount of the tension building within the brunette, giving it a release. Let him vent out his frustration. Granted he didn't think it would work right away, he figured he'd be doing something more along the lines of baiting him into an argument first. But he hadn't really expected to be sucker punched right off the bat either.

From the way things were going, as it was it didn't look like Ken would be moving anytime soon. Though he seemed to have calmed down quite a bit, he had once again reverted to silence. He wouldn't be leaving until Ran agreed to leaving.

Ran sighed against his amusement, his thoughts continuing to circle as they sat in silence, having bought himself to prop on his elbows. He glanced for a second time over his shoulder to the brunette sitting backwards upon his lower back.

He was currently attempting to untie the gloves on his hand with his teeth, and failing miserably.

While Ken had always been a bit hotheaded, Ran knew him to be a landmine in waiting if he didn't find a way to quickly release all the mounting frustration and tension.

"It's gone a bit soft." He could feel Ken freeze in his efforts to untie the intertwining strings and bring his head up, "Your right hook." He finished.

The blush Ran hadn't seen quickly disappeared in favor of the rising anger. Ran should have seen the hit to the back of his head coming.

With a wince and small laughter, he waited till the brunette settled himself back into trying to remove the gloves, something that wouldn't be happening anytime soon, as he'd double knotted it.

Ken was doing well to hold back, the punches thrown out of little more than annoyance. The last to the back of his head had been considerably harder; it would only take a little more to break him.

"How are those gloves coming along?"

He didn't stop in his ministrations, but his body began to tense with anger.

"Giving up already?"

And that was it.

Maybe it was a good thing Ran didn't normally talk to him, because right now all he was succeeding in doing was royally pissing him off.

He brought his knee down upon the matt to bring his body to twist about. He got about halfway into raising his fist when a hand grabbed him around the ankle and used his own momentum against him, reversing their positions.

Ran however did not stay seated. He knew the brunette to be to angered at this point to keep still for long. Doing the same would not be wise. He danced back, Ken already at his feet and still, listening as Ran circled with a smile.

* * *

They collapsed against the floor matt's sometime later, out of breath and sweating from over exertion. Ken reveled in the cool feel of the matt's under his skin, disappointed when it did little to relieve the actual heat though. 

What he wanted at the moment, however, was nothing more than removing those bloody gloves from his hands; the strings once again back between his teeth as he pulled.

It was the soft growl of annoyance that had Ran open his eyes to the habit that he hadn't heard in so long. He turned his head to the side, his cheek now lying against the matt, and smiled in amusement the sight of the brunette presented.

He had one foot against the matt as he lay with his back atop the matt, his knee bent while the other bent forward, in the air and drawn up; furiously trying to un-glove his hands as he pulled at the string between his teeth.

Ran rolled to his stomach as Ken emitted another barely audible growl and brought himself to his feet. His breathing had calmed, but still hadn't quite returned to normal when he crouched beside the teething brunette. Gently pushing away the upraised leg, he noticed the brunette's lack of response.

It was small, but he was sure he caught the brief pause in the pull upon the string before resumed his task. Ran observed with interest, the relaxed nature and lack of tension and frustration within his muscles. He was growing accustomed to the silence and getting back to the everyday occurrences. Ken was growing more comfortable with him, around him, being near to him.

Ran took one of his gloved hands within his, taking the strings from the all to eager brunette. "I still say your right hook has gone a bit soft."

Ken snorted in disbelief.

* * *

authors note: Sorry for the delay. I wasnt to happy with this chapter, not with the way it turned out. I should have tweeked a few more things, but it got stuck with how it was; really annoying. Again, hope you enjoyed; read and review! 


	5. Breaking point

**Blind**

V

_-Breaking Point-_

Ken knew that in the world, anything was possible. Especially in his world, in his line of work, where the risks were always high, and the outcome was always unknown. Ken knew this, because he'd grown to expect the unexpected, because anything and everything was possible.

This however, was not.

Ken suppressed the urge to gag at remembering the smell, nothing that foul had ever reached his nose before. And he knew Ran had to be trying to kill him, for who in their right mind would make something that foul smelling without that intention?

He scowled, or attempted to with the bottom half of his face, his lips drawn down in a firm line as he poked and prodded at the unidentified substance.

Really, things couldn't get any worse. Not only was his stomach protesting against the lack of food it had received, half of it was rebelling against itself, churning violently in disgust.

He prodded the substance yet again, the line in his mouth drawing down farther.

Yes, Ran had to be trying to kill him. There was no other conclusion.

He fought back at remembering the horrible smell that had permeated the entire apartment and the overwhelming sickness that fought to rise with it. It reeked.

_Whatever_ it was, it had reeked.

He pushed the substance across his plate, sliding it back and forth with his fork. His nose wrinkled slightly as he played with it, his mind still trying to determine the thing in question. But no matter how many times he poked at it or prodded it with the end of his fork, it was still nowhere near identifiable. Therefore it was evil.

And Ran expected him to eat this?

This, this whatever this was?

He kept a laugh to himself.

"It's not going to kill you." Ran's voice startled him out of his craze, Ken's fork stilling within his hand. Ran watched with an eye of amusement, fighting between the forthcoming sigh and the smile of the ridiculousness of it all. While he was finding this highly amusing, he couldn't help but be slightly annoyed as he continued watching the brunette's charade from across the small dinning table.

Pushing the meat cutlet once more, Ken once more stilled his hand before his head rose an inch, his mouth reluctantly opening, "What is it?"

"Food."

Ken twitched.

Ran smiled, this is why it was he found it so amusing he laughed to himself as he enjoyed his own meal.

"What'd you do to it?"

"Absolutely nothing." Ken twitched again to Ran's entertainment, "You don't have to eat it."

Across the table, Ken speared the object in one final declaration of protest, raising the unidentified from his plate with his fork. The hunger was beginning to out way his ways of protest, and with one final grimace of fear, he bit down on the cutlet – and nearly choked.

"Not so bad I take it?"

"Ah."

"I'll take that as a yes in your approval."

It really wasn't halfway bad, though he'd never admit it to Ran, and Ran knew this. Halfway being the keyword, for nothing edible should ever smell that foul, _ever._

_xoxoxoxo_

It wasn't much, but it was a start. Things were progressing slowly, but surely within their own time. Within the last few days, Ran had slowly broken the silence Ken had forced upon himself with his fear. And again, it wasn't much, but it was a start.

Ken's voice was slowly but surely being put to use, as Ran imposed upon himself his own silence, forcing Ken from his. It hadn't been easy, but Ran knew nothing in this world came easy, and Ken's adamant refusal to surrender was nothing more than an obstacle to over come. But Ran had persisted, leaving the time between them silent when necessary, but to knowing when that silence was best breached, or left alone.

When Ken's voice rose for the first time in days, Ran couldn't help the small smile that tugged at his lips. He'd never admit it, but he'd missed that voice. It and every little personal trait and habit that made the brunettes personality; _everything_ he'd locked away.

But slowly, with the sound of his voice, they were returning. Little by little, as Ran pulled upon the small thread between them, connecting them. Slowly, Ran was easing out what used to be there, and lessening his fears. Bringing back the things that had always defined the brunette's personality.

He could see the changes.

It had surprised him, to say the least, that first morning he'd walked into the kitchen to find Ken already seated at the table; ready and waiting for their departure to the warehouse. Ken remained silent, as Ran made his way across the kitchen. Silently listening all the while Ran watched as the brunette idly ate at the remains of his breakfast; silently questioning.

It pushed him back when a few days later, when that voice arose across the room, quietly asking. And while Ran could keep the smile from his face, he couldn't stop what others could plainly see from showing in his eyes.

_xoxoxoxo_

There was a setback, as quickly as things were progressing with Ken, there was one major drawback. The incident itself set almost everything back to the beginning, to the fear that conquered and devoured within the brunette. The immediate reaction Ran hadn't been expecting, but he'd quickly taken control of the situation. The delayed reaction was something that took over Ran himself, scaring him beyond words when he found he couldn't reach the brunette.

And it started with a single step beyond the Koneko's doors. Because, while getting Ken to the warehouse was easy, getting him out anywhere else was a feat in itself. The brunette reverted almost entirely into himself the moment they stepped beyond what was familiar.

His hands shook, straining as they pulled at the fabric of his jeans. Small tremors tore at his body, uncontrolled. His voice fell away as his fingers clenched within his palm. His skin, cold to the touch. He was breaking, his fear outweighing _all_ rationality and thought.

And Ran approached it as he had everything else; _slowly_. His voice soothing Ken's fears, his hands keeping them at bay.

_xoxoxoxo_

Ken's mind began to spin at their first step, just outside the Koneko's doors. The panic set in, the fear planting itself within his every move. It started almost immediately.

The cold sweat that broke over his skin, the trembles that slowly began to wrack his body. His mind tried to fight it, with every rational thought. But the fear was deeply rooted, and quickly taking control despite his efforts.

He didn't want to do this, he didn't want to be here.

His hands fidgeted at his sleeves, wringing at his fingers.

He was at a loss, everything was suddenly caving in on him.

The sounds, so many sounds. He couldn't distinguish between them, they were to near, too far, too close… They were right beside him, behind him, _around_ him. He couldn't get his bearings. He could see nothing, he could see nothing of what they were doing, of what was happening around him. There were so many, to many, to busy for him to stop, to pinpoint a specific sound; to tell what was going on.

He couldn't concentrate, he couldn't tell.

His fingers wrapped around themselves, wringing desperately upon each other.

To many people walked around him, standing about him. He didn't know where he was, he didn't know what they were doing.

There were so many sounds!

As quickly as it started, and as much as he tried to fight it, all reasoning left him with one breath. His mind was blank with fear, and his body was betraying everything he felt.

Ken froze on spot, his muscles locking, completely refusing his orders because he himself didn't know what he wanted. One part of him was screaming to run, to bolt, to swing. The other was blank with the fear, and it was the fear that held him in check.

He had to run, something in his mind screamed.

His breathing was becoming erratic, the tremors becoming uncontrollable. He felt like something was suddenly pressing down upon his lungs, weighing upon his chest. He couldn't breath. He felt like he was suffocating.

Ken wanted to scream, his mind almost completely shutting down. It was telling him to run, but run to where?

And suddenly, he could see nothing but the whites of _their_ eyes. They tore at him, having surrounded him from all angles, pressing him back against the wall. They surrounded him, ambushing him with no means, nor hopes of escape as he was caged. Their laughter, it rang in their eyes as they looked down upon him.

Their sneering eyes.

And as suddenly, he could see nothing; everything once again turned black. He could hear nothing but their ever-present laughter as they drew closer. He had no escape.

He had to get out! His mind screamed desperately, protesting against his body. Run.

_Run!_

And all to suddenly warm hands enveloped him, circling about his shoulders to comfort as the presence leaned against his back. He stopped breathing.

The arms drew around his shoulders, clasping his arms, "I'm here."

_Don't forget that, you're not alone. I'm here, I wont let anything happen. _

And it was as if he could feel everything slipping. Everything leaving him in the same breath; the fear, the anxiety. The voices drowned out, all but _his_, keeping him safe.

He felt safe, the warmth enveloping him spreading from _his_ touch.

Whatever kept his muscled locked before gave out all to suddenly, taking with it the ability to keep himself up. He was exhausted.

The warm arms about him tightened securely when he began to drop, his legs giving out from under him. The figure behind him sliding to the ground with him, never once relinquishing in their hold.

He was so tired, knowing he was safe in these arms.

And Ran never let go. He only gently slid around him, hefting the brunette onto his back when he didn't respond; carrying him home.

It was here, Ran started to realize it.

_xoxoxoxo_

tbc

Authors note: This chapters a little different, switching back between the perspectives of Ran and Ken rather than having just one perspective for the entire chapters length. It's not something I had originally wanted nor planned, but it was needed for the chapter. Also you'll have to excuse my mistakes, this chapter is unbeta'd! I'm currently looking for a second beta, so if your willing drop me an email (link within profile) You'll also have to excuse me for the _xoxoxoxo'_s I've used as page dividers; the ruler button has refused it's service. I got aggrivated.

We dont have to much more chapter wise! Look forward to a perspective from one of the other members of Weiss in one of the next few chapters!

_Read_ and Review!


	6. Change

Blind

_-Changes-_

VI

Side chapter

* * *

An: _Unbated_

* * *

"Youji." 

"_Youj_i…"

He could hear the pestering voice even in his sleep. Poking, prodding, the damn thing wouldn't leave him alone. What was worse, it was suddenly becoming violent in its prodding.

"_Youji_..." He could hear the patients running thin in Omi's voice. His poking wasn't that far off either, he was already close to being pushed off the counter he was currently residing atop of.

"Youji…"

"Go away Chibi."

"If Aya-kun finds you sleeping, he's going to kill you."

Well, if that wasn't one way to wake a man up and undoubtedly _keep_ him awake.

Ran's threats were not to be taken lightly. The blonde didn't particularly care to test them either, not when it came to seeing how many ways he could hang a man from his… He shuddered, that was really all that was needed to keep anyone man awake.

Youji's eyes shot open blearily with a groan, "What'd I ever do to you?"

"Would you like a list?"

"Smart ass."

"Remind me again, why the shops open this early? No one comes in this early." Youji sighed, bringing himself upright atop the barstool only to slouch against the counter.

"Only to torture you, Youji-kun."

"Che!" He yawned with a snort, pulling his limbs out to stretch.

It was rare that anyone actually came in at this hour; it was one of their slower times of the day. But it was even rarer for the lanky blonde to be up, and better yet, working.

"Youji-kun, what did you do with the shipment from yesterday?"

"Moved it behind the potting soil in the back room."

"Aa."

He ran a hand through blonde tousled locks.

Morning shifts, as a rule were generally taken up by Ran and Ken. But with Ken and Ran's temporary leave of absence, both blondes were forced to cover the shifts. With only the two of them to open and close, however, they'd been forced to temporarily cut back on the number of hours they stayed open.

Youji just wasn't sure why the hell they'd continued to keep their morning hours.

He growled.

Really, the only people who visited this time of day were housewives with to much time on their hands, and husbands waking up to find themselves still in the doghouse. He really couldn't see how people could possibly ever willingly get up at this hour.

Not even the best of his all nighters kept him out till this hour. Thinking on it, he couldn't remember the last time he'd actually been out this early.

With another yawn, he pulled himself away from his train of thoughts at the sound of distant voices approaching through the kitchen door.

Speak of the devil.

He subconsciously scooted his lower half closer to the counter.

"You don't think he'd really…"

"I wouldn't put it past him."

"Youji-kun."

The twin sets of footsteps fell silent just before the open doorway connecting the Koneko and the apartment's communal kitchen before continuing just outside of view. Ran's voice the only one approaching with them.

"Did you leave it in the Kitchen?"

"We'll look when we get back."

Lifting his head from the palm of his hand, Youji turned just as Ran walked through, Ken lagging a step behind, a hand pressed against Ran's back and just out of sight.

Youji's eyes narrowed slightly in insight.

Something fit.

Having known the two of them for so long he wouldn't have thought so, but they suddenly seemed to fit.

Was that it? Knowing both of them, knowing their personalities, and how they'd clashed from the very beginning, knowing they were almost complete opposites… Knowing this, he could never have envisioned _this_.

But it was like he was seeing something that had been there all along for the first time; they fit.

He watched, Ran's words drowned out in his ears as he turned his head back to the brunette.

He could see them as they were slowly figuring this out as well. They fit well together. They were coming to know each other better than they knew themselves. They were coming to understand what they lacked in themselves too since the very beginning.

They were finding what they were missing, finding that missing piece in each other; a loneliness.

A loneliness that was slowly being eased, the voice filled in the presence of the other.

Omi moved from his position before him, "Ohiyo Ran-kun… Ken-kun… Are you feeling all right?" He could hear the hesitation in Omi's voice.

Youji turned his eyes back to the pair, watching.

"Ohiyo, Omi..." Ran's eyes turned to gaze behind him without moving his head. The hand against his back tightened, and pulled at the fabric of his jacket, but the brunette made no further movement, making no attempt to speak.

"Aa" Ran's eyes dropped to his side, to where he knew the hand to be before returning his gaze to meet that of Omi's.

It was small, but he caught it. It was something Ran would normally have never allowed; not till now that is. It was the subtle look of concern he held with looking back. It was the way he didn't ignore the question Ken wasn't able to answer himself. It was in the way he answered, because he knew the last thing Ken wanted was to hurt anyone.

It was this, and so much more.

It was between them, around them, with them…

It was in the smallest detail, in the most insignificant thing.

He could see it, but could _they_?

The changes in the two of them were growing. It wasn't just the brunette, the biggest changes between them could be seen in the redhead himself. Even so, they were subtle, and hardly noticeable, even with a keen eye, but they were there.

The biggest change being in his eyes; they'd softened. His violet eyes no longer pierced the soul with cold and seemingly uncaring looks. Where you could see nothing, could feel nothing from them, because they had always been empty.

Youji marveled at the difference. Violet eyes lit softly with a void that had been filled.

He saw the first spark of it in the hospital, the look of concern, the anger, the fear… They broke the ice behind what had always been locked away and frozen.

In his speech, his tone.

It was most noticeable around the brunette. His voice softened, his anger momentarily forgotten in favor of the person beside him.

And it was in his touch. His very presence, the soft and lingering touches, never left for to long, but always there.

Youji knew that this was ultimately what he had not been able to give the brunette, and it was what he needed.

He gave a sad smile, because it was something he'd never be able to give.

He'd been surprised at first, when the redhead readily agreed to looking after Ken. It took him aback. At the time he had wholeheartedly believed it would be detrimental, but Ran left no room for further arguments. And looking at the progressing outcome now, he could see he'd been wrong. Ran was what Ken needed, just as Ken was what Ran so desperately needed himself.

From what Youji could see of the brunette now, he seemed to be happier. Their routine was much the same throughout the day. With his and Omi's work along with personal schedules, it wasn't often that they'd seen each other.

But it was most mornings that they would stop briefly before leaving. It was in this small amount of time that Youji noticed them.

Ken no longer looked so angry. The tension visibly rolled off his shoulders when they were together. Youji watched, as with a single word, Ran's voice became enough to calm and sooth him, to reassure. Where as before, it would have sent the brunette over the edge and into a rage.

Looking at the changes separately, they were small and insignificant – looking at them together, they were gaping and prominent and all for the better.

"Kudo…" Youji pulled himself from his cycle of thoughts. Alarmed at the tone, he froze under the icy glare with an uncertain laugh.

But then again, he could just be thinking to deeply into things. After all, Ran was still Ran.

* * *

_tbc_

* * *

AN: A small side chapter from one of the other four Weiss boys. I started, and restarted, and scraped this chapter so many times while working on it. This chapter has probably gone through the longest revision process I've ever done. Youji's point of view is so hard! XD Really, I get in Ran and Ken's mindset and I'm stuck. Suddenly going into Youji's was an absolute shock to me. But I think I finally got it down, hopefully leaving him well enough into character. 

This chapter actually fits in somewhere after the next chapter, but I'd rather put it up before the next one, for various reasons. Because after the next chapter, comes the intro to the conclusion. I didnt want to delay it with the side chapter..

I apologize for the length of this chapter, I know its rather short compared to my others, but the point of this chapter was to establish how Omi and Youji saw things a little. It didn't go to in to depth, but just enough to establish, like I said.

Review, or I might do evil things.


	7. Time

**Blind**

_-Time-_

VII

* * *

_How long…_

_Time was slipping away. Without pause, the seconds were ticking away; tick-tock._

_Time was going to take everything from him._

Life would continue.

_Wouldn't it?

* * *

_

_A smile_

One that always came freely, given without restraint. His smile could lift even the saddest of hearts. Because his heart was still pure.

_A laugh_

Of pure joy. One that held no fear, no malice. A laugh that somehow got lost in the flow of time.

_A sigh_

Because the rain continued to pour outside, and he could only watch as it continued to fall. A sigh that wished for freedom and yearned for the sun to hang high overhead. A sigh that waited for his shift to end, for the soccer ball waiting by the door.

* * *

A smile that came freely, a laugh he had to force to suppress. What could only be seen in his eyes; all with the flutter he felt in his stomach.

The contact, _his_ presence. The way he unconsciously sought him out when he wasn't near. The careless and reassuring touches; the dance alone his skin.

Words he seldom used, a voice he thought he'd locked away; words he now used.

The way he missed everything the brunette had locked away. Everything he had locked away because of the fear; his smile, his laugh, his voice and clumsy and loving personality. His deep brown eyes.

And he too missed what he himself had sealed away, because of the pain. He was no longer that person from long ago, the person before life had taken it all away. But slowly, that pain was being lessened, that loneliness was being eased in the brunette's presence; and it scared him. To suddenly feel things he hadn't felt in so long, things he no longer though possible.

_Had he ever felt like this?_

A past he was loosing sight of.

Of the way things used to be.

There was no fear for this, only the fear of loosing what was now before him.

_Would it all fall away?_

When everything was said and done, would everything return to before?

_To a life of solitude._

To an empty chair across the table, and a dinner made for one. To the apartment of silence, with an empty bedroom across from his. To the unused radio hidden atop the shelves within the kitchen.

_To the loneliness. _

The emptiness weighted upon him.

* * *

The bedside lap lay lit in the dark apartment, light spilling softly over the bed and connecting walls. Casting shadows to where its light could not touch.

He sat unmoving upon the bed, settled to the furthest side to where the bed met the wall; pillows propped up behind him as he leaned back against the headboard. Ran stared unseeing at the pages before him, his eyes distant and unfocused in thought, the neat print before him unread.

Distantly, the soft tick of the grandfather clock registered to him within the silent room, pulling him from his thoughts at the soft sigh that followed the midnight chime. Fighting to refocus his vision, Ran pulled his eyes away from the unread book within his lap and moved to the sleeping figure lying beside him.

His fingers continued running through the brunette's hair as he sighed contently in his sleep.

_How many nights?_

How many nights now did this make it?

For the brunette to come and fall asleep beside him with such ease.

How many nights now, had Ran marveled at the surprising comfort he presented, the ease in which he himself was able to fall asleep so quickly in.

When had he first noticed it?

It had always been the silence that plagued Ken. The unquestionable silence, for unable to see, without sound he could not determine one's whereabouts. But it wasn't the silence that had the brunette beside him. It was finally the darkness. It was the fear of being alone.

It started the day they'd walked outside the Koneko. That night, Ran woke abruptly to the painful cry that ripped past the brunette's throat; it stopped his blood cold.

He'd run in to find Ken curled on his side, the sheets strewn and twisted about him. A white hand lay desperately clutching the sheets, the other draped across his stomach in pain. His breathing heavy and gasping. His mind still plagued by the haunting memories that refused to release him.

Ran slid in beside him, desperately calling out to him. Calling out to him with a voice that could not reach him. His voice, the sound that had always calmed him with a word stopped cold; it couldn't reach him. It could do nothing to breach through the crippling fear.

Ken shivered at his touch, his skin cool under his fingertips. He wasn't responding.

His touch did nothing, it wasn't felt. He didn't feel the hand atop his shoulder move to wrap about his waist. _Nothing._

Desperate, Ran slid both arms around the brunette, drawing him near and effortlessly lifting him into his arms. He didn't remember sprinting to the bathroom. He didn't remember lifting the shower taps, only waiting impatiently for the water to heat as Ken continued to shiver violently within his arms.

It felt like an eternity, as he waited impatiently for the water to heat, when really only seconds had passed by. Bouncing from one foot to the other, he shifted the brunette's weight in his arms, hefting him up as he stepped past the curtains and under the waters unrelenting spray.

Ken gasped and cried out in shock as the water poured down upon him, his hand moving to clutch Ran's shirt as he continued to shake. His breathing came in broken pauses, his breath held as he accustomed himself to the sudden onslaught. But slowly, slowly, his breathing evened out and slowed down, returning to an even pace. And slowly, Ken became still, his body no longer wracked with fear, the tremors subsiding.

Keeping him wrapped in his embrace, Ran slowly sank to the floor.

He never once let loose his hold as the brunette cried against his shoulder, never once did he stop his voice as it broke through, his body rocking slightly with his words.

Ran waited for his cries to die down as the water continued to soak through their clothes, warming the figure within his embrace. He waited as the brunette fell into an unconsciousness of sorts.

Lifting his head, Ran let the water wash him.

* * *

He waited until he could feel the first subtle change in the waters temperature before once again lifting them both from the bathtubs floor. Turning the waters taps, Ken started to stir but made no move to struggle.

Pausing, Ran looked over the small-enclosed space, "Ken? Ken I need to set you down for a minute. Can you do that?"

He waited for the feeble nod against his chest.

Stepping carefully atop the wet floor, he set him gingerly atop the toilet, making sure he could keep himself upright, albeit shakily before stepping away. Grabbing a towel, he quickly wrapped it about Ken's shoulders, the cold air hitting his skin as he shivered.

He was gone for but a minute, hurriedly bringing in a change of clothes for the both of them, leaving a trail of water unnoticed in his wake as he fought to change his own clothes as he walked.

Bringing himself to kneel before Ken, he draped another towel over the brunette's head, running it through his hair. Stopping when his hair was well enough dry, Ran moved his hands to the brunette's knees and watched his face, half hidden beneath the towel still draped over his head. "Ken… Ken, listen to me." Ran waited, watching for any sign of acknowledgement, "Are you listening to me?"

A small and shaking nod.

"Alright. Alright… Ken, I need you to focus on me a minute. I need to get you out of these clothes." His body continued to shake, shivering and swaying in an effort to keep himself upright. His hands held to the seat.

"I'm going to have to take of your shirt." Ken stiffened.

"Hey. Hey!" Ran moved his hands up to the brunettes face, his thumbs smoothing over his skin and wiping away the water that continued to trail down his cheek. "There's no one here but me. I'm not going to hurt you and I'm not going to judge you. You've got to trust me. Can you do that?"

* * *

Ran watched, and waited as Ken's features softened and seemed to ease at his touch as he fought to control the trembles wracking his body. He nodded, but his trembles only increased as Ran moved to slowly peal the wet shirt from his skin.

Even after catching sight of the faint scars along his lower torso, he didn't let his eyes linger, quickly pulling the towel about his shoulders to once again dry him off before pulling the dry shirt over his head.

Ken passed out just before he was through, his body sliding forward as he could no longer keep himself upright, exhaustion finally taking its toll. Ran, having expected it, easily caught him when the brunette's head hit his shoulder. Wrapping his arms about him, he gently lowered him to his level.

It had taken him some time to dry and dress the both of them before he finally pulled them both into bed, warmly placing the brunette in the thick blankets atop his bed and settling in beside him. It wasn't something he could bring himself to do, to place Ken within his own bed and leave for his. Ken would most likely wake in the middle of the night, and Ran wasn't sure the brunette could handle a repeat. Ran wasn't sure _he_ could handle a repeat.

And Ran was right, and though an attack of that degree did not reoccur, the brunette continued to wake and struggle several more times during the night. Though they were nothing in comparison to how he'd first woke. Having Ran beside him seemed to make a considerable difference, quieting quickly as he pulled closer to him in his sleep.

Ran watched him now, his eyes falling over the bandage wrapped about eyes, and the chocolate colored locks having messily fallen over it. His hand paused, stilling through the silken strands.

Ran had no doubt that Ken's eyesight would return. He had no doubt that the fear that he currently felt would be realized and everything would return to normal. And Ran could only fear it more, because tomorrow was the day everything would fall away from him.

Tomorrow, when those brown eyes fell upon him, they would remember nothing. And it would all fall away.

* * *

TBC

Authors Note:So sorry for such a long delay! Things have been hectic. But have no fear, for I have Mit-chan here! After threats from her for everything from tears, voodoo dolls, capture, large pits without ladders, starvation, and even children, I have FINALLY gotten it up. My sincerest apologies.

To note, Ran's point of view is throughout the story. If I remember correctly, Ken's is up next and we start to draw into "its finally time, what will he say?" What will the doctor say? Well, I can't give that away right now. Privileged information and all, they haven't even told me yet you see! XD Kidding. I hope everything that I've been leading up to until this point leaves you with the conclusion you desire! Tell me how you liked it, what should be improved, and your thoughts!

I know this chapter isn't exactly up to par with my previous ones, but this one, by far was the hardest one to write (even harder than digging through Youji's perverted mind and trying to find thoughts that didn't focus on women.)

_Read and Review!_


	8. Distance

**Blind**

_-Distance-_

VIII

* * *

If it was in the way he presented himself, then it was in the way he spoke. It was in the very way he breathed, down to the very core of his existence. Visible, if you looked hard enough. Pushing back at what pressed harder, he was resurrecting the barriers he had unconsciously dropped around him. Replacing the walls that had fallen in his presence. 

And he was reinforcing them tenfold.

Ran as growing distant.

One step forward was so many more taken back. Everything that had come to be was falling apart, and all in the matter of seconds.

Emotionally, physically, Ran was withdrawing.

He was suddenly withdrawing himself from the situation he'd found himself in. Pushing away from the possibilities that presented themselves in _him. _Ran was secluding himself from what was before him and the one person he'd unwillingly let close. Pushing away the one person who needed him; away from the very person he too needed.

Ran was pulling away.

And it hurt.

Down to the sudden emptiness wrought with pain within his voice when he got to close, and the sharpness to his the words he spoke when he stepped away. There was a distance Ken didn't need to see to feel growing.

Just like the hollow ache within his chest.

Ever growing.

* * *

Ken sat listlessly from his position upon the sofa as Ran busied himself about the apartment. Listening as the redhead disappeared into the various apartment rooms, organizing himself in preparation for the hospital visit. Ken sat quietly, the sound of Ran's footsteps keeping his attention. The soft pitter-patter of his movements as they drew closer and stepped away. He listened to the distance. 

A brief pause fell in his movements, his footsteps falling silent as he stood beside the sofa's arm; a distance maintained.

Ken lifted his head languidly to the brief brush of fabric against his forearm. Ran moved stiffly back, clearing his throat as he placed the brunettes jacket over the sofa's backing, "We'll be leaving in just a few minutes."

A step back and the sound of his boots against the hardwood floor paused yet again, hesitant. But the words didn't make it.

Another step back, one more away from him - and he was off again.

_He didn't understand._

The brunette's fingers tightened about the seat cushions beneath him. His hunched form growing tense, the upcoming possibilities pulling at his attention. The possibilities.

The consequences.

_Blind._

**A burden**.

It seemed to be that Ran had finally grown tired of him. He could find no other explanation for the hollow words he now spoke. For if he spoke at all, the words were now cold and curt. All physical contact for that matter, was much the same; unavailable unless needed. And even then, contact was strained and harsh.

Had he already become the burden he did not wish to become?

A weight that no one would wish to bear, for the trouble was too great to encompass alone…

His thoughts twisted.

The knot within his stomach wrenching with it.

Would he be made to bear, yet again, being torn from his family? He wasn't sure he could bear it a second time. It had nearly torn him in two the first, when he'd been made to. But could he do it once again, _alone_?

_Without sight?_

Or could he leave without a goodbye…

To relieve them of the burden they'd been placed with.

His fingers tightened, sinking further into the cushion.

He didn't understand.

And it didn't make sense.

His chest burned.

He couldn't fit the pieces together. Even if he was a burden, why was Ran suddenly withdrawing from him? Why was he suddenly pushing him away?

He didn't understand

And just as quickly, his thoughts circled for a second time.

**Chaotic.**

What would it be like,

To be completely alone?

Away from where he wanted to be; _here._

He wanted to be here.

Where the fingers that played thru his hair on darkened nights were gentle and soft. Where whispered words meant to reassure him were placed against his hear, caressing him with a comforting touch. Where on long nights, his presence was the only thing needed to calm him. Where Ran would sit with him throughout the night, never once having been asked too. Where he felt something.

The front door closed, the sound of a heavier footfall approaching. Youji's voice broke the silence, "Are we ready to go, gentlemen?"

Ken could feel the smile on his lips and the excitement in the blonde's voice as he rubbed his hands together, "Well, Ken-Ken, how ya feeling?"

Ken pulled himself from his thoughts, his hands kept hidden within the cushions. Slowly, he lifted his head slightly to where he knew Youji to be before letting it fall once again.

"Ken?"

* * *

Youji's eyes narrowed in confusion. 

_Something was off._

"Ken?"

_Something had changed._

Youji dropped to his knees, moving to kneel before the brunette. Hesitantly placing a hand upon his knee, he gave him a gentle nudge. "Hey…" His voice came softly.

Ken remained silent, detached.

Youji shifted slightly, "Ken..."

Ken fell forward, his head dropping to fall against his shoulder, startling the blonde. Instinctively, his free hand went up to cup the back of his neck, "Hey, what's wrong?"

Youji's eyes fell to his lap, giving the brunette another nudge with his fingers. His eyes caught sight of the hand holding the pillows in a vice like grip. Youji's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Kudo, grab Ken's jacket. Let's go." Ran's voice loomed outside the main room; his hurried footsteps still busy about the apartment.

And just as quickly as the brunette had moved to lean against him, he righted himself upon the redhead's entrance. Wordlessly, Ken moved to speak, his mouth moving noiselessly. But the words seemed to have fallen away from him.

Sealing his lips, he resigned himself, giving up on the words that refused to surface.

Puzzled, Youji broke from his standstill, bringing himself to stand upright, "Yeah."

Grabbing Ken's jacket from behind him, He eyed the redhead as he once again disappeared down the hall; having made no move to help the brunette as he would usually.

His eyes narrowed once again, a new wave of confusion washing over him.

_Something had changed. _

Fighting the sudden bought of bewilderment, Youji quickly helped the brunette into his jacket; keeping close to him.

Returning to the main room, Ran made for the front door, slipping his own jacket over his shoulders. He made no move to come stand beside the brunette, to walk with him as he had always.

Subtly, he moved ahead to avoid being left with him.

Youji glanced down to the brunette at his arm, finding the look upon his face just as lost and confused as he was. He was torn.

Ran was suddenly distancing himself from the brunette. Only unlike before, he was angry, and at himself; and he was just as torn.

_Something had change and _drastically.

* * *

Youji was at a loss, left standing amiss the loss that Ken seemed to radiate and the anger and sorrow that Ran himself was suppressing. But what left Youji worried, was that as a result, Ken was shutting down. 

Whenever presented with, Ken dealt with shock in the only way he knew how. He lashed out with an anger, unrestrained and fevered. It knew no bounds. With the sudden barricade Ran was rebuilding, Ken was left at a loss, his usually outlet barred by the suddenness too close and far too personal. He looked broken, devoid of emotion.

Just as Ken was shutting down, Ran was reverting into himself. His icy demeanor slowly returning as he resurrected the barriers he'd temporarily dropped, and Youji didn't understand why. How things could have changed so much over night.

"Come on, Ken-ken. Lets go." Youji spoke softly, patting him upon the shoulder as he took his hand within his own. He pleaded for that to be enough, if only for now. Because while he knew he could never be what the brunette needed, _who_ he needed, he knew right now the brunette needed someone to help him stand. And while he could, he would do what he was able to.

Giving the shaking hand within his own a reassuring tug, he led them out the door.

* * *

The ride was silent, a nervousness present that none were able to break for its duration. The radio played softly, falling silent to the pressure of the growing wind that drove thru. The four forwent the idle chatter, leaving the silence to wash over them with their thoughts of what was to come. Their own fears silent with the upcoming possibilities. 

Their silence, their fear feeding his own.

Youji's eyes drifted up and back, adjusting the rearview mirror as he glanced back upon the two rear passengers. Upon the occupants causing such unease and discomfort within them all.

His eyes moved across the mirror, taking in the distance between the two.

While he had seated himself beside the brunette, Ran sat to the farthest edge of the seat, insuring that no accidental contact would be made; his arms folded tightly over his chest. His body tense.

Green eyes lingered upon the brunette, upon the hand that sat outstretched between them. Fingers reaching to grasp between the distance. Fingers that held to the upholstery with a fear. He sat unmoving, his posture lax despite the tension that ran through him. His head dropped forward.

_The fear growing._

Wanting to reach for him, wanting his touch and reassuring words.

The hand between them was left ignored, the redhead keeping his gaze to the window.

Youji's eyes moved back towards the road, his fingers tightening about the steering wheel. His jaw shut in an effort to keep from shouting at the redhead; his anger seethed.

He didn't understand what Ran was doing.

* * *

Pulling to a stop half an hour later near the back entrance of the hospitals parking lot, the tall blonde jumped from the car, slamming the door behind him. Circling Seven in a stride, Youji pulled open the right rear passenger door, helping the brunette from the car. 

He fought to calm himself with a deep breath.

Forcing a smile, he bent over slightly to bring himself to the brunettes level. He pulled at the bill of the baseball hat obscuring the bandages wrapped around his eyes.

"Alright Ken-ken, Manx should be up there already with the paper work. Omi here'll take you up and get you checked in." His eyes moving to find Omi's, he gave the young blonde a small nod.

"We'll be right behind you." He gave the bill of the cap a final tap

Omi nodded, taking Ken's hand within his own, "Come on, Ken-kun."

Leaning back against Seven, Youji fished out his lighter from his pocket. Cupping his hand about the cigarette, he gave a single flick to the lighter, pausing for it to take. Taking a drag from his cigarette, he watched, waiting for Omi to fall past their range of hearing.

Ran shifted silently beside him, his boots scuffing against the concrete as he watched the blonde. Curious.

Taking a final drag from his cigarette, Youji pushed away from Seven as they disappeared through the back doors and dropped it to the ground. Languidly exhaling the bout of smoke, he gave a quick twist to his heal and turned; pulling back his fist.

Ran staggered back in shock, his hand moving to work at his jaw. Flinching slightly, he pulled up, putting himself on even footing. A warmth spread across his lower lip. Darting his tongue across the broken skin, he wasn't surprised to find it bleeding.

Youji didn't wait for him to retaliate, he knew he wouldn't. Not with things as they were.

Ran had been expecting it. While not directly in the action, he'd expected the confrontation. He hadn't put it past Youji to put the pieces together to a puzzle he himself had yet to make out. Not when, to him, the picture was so obscured, the pieces so misshapen.

He couldn't complain, not when he felt he deserved it.

And yet, he couldn't help but feel it wasn't enough.

Squaring his jaw, Ran lifted his head, watching as Youji pulled yet another cigarette from his jacket pocket to light. A brief silence followed, breaking only as he exhaled, and lifted his narrowed eyes to lock directly upon his.

Ran couldn't bring himself to look away.

And after a moment or two, it was Youji who broke away, giving a quick glance over his shoulder towards the hospital entrance. Drawing the cigarette from his lips, his eyes returned, "Don't fuck up."

"Don't fuck him up." He repeated in a whisper as he turned to follow after.

Ran stood still.

* * *

_TBC_

* * *

_Read_ and **Review**. Reviews make for one happy author. A happy author makes for one happy girl. A happy girl writes more quickly. 

Ya following my line of thought here?

Next up, what's the Doc gonna say?

_I feel like I have yellow post it notes all over this chapter. The hate this chapters ending. It was icky to write._

And by the way Gillie, here's to having fun at the Schwarz household!


	9. Uncertainty

**Blind**

**IX**

**Uncertainty**

* * *

**Blind:** _Adjective_. 1. Unable to see; lacking the sense of sight; sightless.2. Made or done without sight of certain objects or knowledge of certain facts that could serve for guidance or cause bias

Unmoving, Ran's thoughts began to turn without conscious intention. Things were moving in an unexpected direction. A direction he hadn't anticipated. His own actions having caused things he had not at the time desired. Things he was suddenly beginning to question. Things he suddenly desired.

Without so much as a thought on his part, something had changed. The intentions he began with were no longer what they originally were, or for for that matter. He wasn't sure how such a thing had come into play. How the single actions, down to the most miniscule of movements of one individual could affect him so. And he had questioned himself.

He questioned himself, second guessing everything he'd once thought. The reason he had allowed the brunette into his home. The reason he'd let the brunette into his routine, into his life. With all this it was the reason he let him stay that was different; at least he thought it was. He was beginning to question why he'd really let him in.

Ran stood outside Youji's roadster, watching overhead he began to loose sight of the sun as it disappeared behind the storm clouds beginning to roll in. Dark clouds of rain had begun to move in from the east over the last hour, obscuring the sky.

There was a subtle hint in the wind as it began to pick up, the smell of rain rushing with it. The tree's were beginning to sway.

Ran stepped from his reveera of thought towards the building, pausing with the distant sound of thunder.

What was he doing?

* * *

How many people can say they've gone to the hospital for almost everything imaginable?

It was the waiting he considered to be the worst. His foot bouncing upon his heel he could only imagine how the brunette could feel. His nerves felt frayed, his impatience showing within the first ten minutes. Because it was the waiting, the fear for what could come, the fear of knowing – and living with it that scared him.

Youji slid to the edge of his chair, rocking back within his seat.

Sighing, he washed a hand over his face before tightly clasping both hands tightly within his lap, wringing his fingers nervously. His eyes moved to the end of the hall, watching as Manx spoke softly with an attendant at the reception desk, shifting through last minute forms.

"Youji –kun, your making me nervous," Omi said, his voice snapping Youji from his nervous fixation. Youji sighed again, burning his hands within the palms of his hands as he stilled himself, "Ah, sorry Chibi."

Once again taking in a deep breath, Youji pushed himself back into his chair, letting his hands drop to his lap. His eyes moved back towards the small blonde across from him, sitting every dutifully beside the unseeing brunette.

He watched as Omi continued to cast worried glances to and from the motionless brunette to the empty hall with hope. Ken himself say perfectly still, his body showing no sign of tension if it weren't for his hands – a nervous habit he'd developed, his arms folded tightly over his chest, his hands clasped over his upper arms, his fingers strained.

The baseball cap he'd worn for the day, earlier confiscated by Manx was once again atop his head and obscuring the upper half of his face. And if it wasn't for the bandages across them, obscuring his eyes as if he didn't want anyone to see; as if he didn't want to see.

Youji couldn't decide.

He only knew the brunette to be waiting, to be listening for any sign of their last approaching member. Ken's thoughts were completely apart form the matter at hand.

Omi's eyes moved back down the hall. His optimism beginning to fade as with each passing minute, the redhead did not appear. He kept his sigh to himself, knowing Ken was waiting for that one person to arrive. The one person whom could calm his nerves, to rationalize his fears – he was waiting for Ran and no one else.

But the redhead had yet to show up. He wasn't here when he was desperately needed.

From down the hall, a pair of high maintenance heels began to click in their approach. The blood red Prada high heels came to a halt just before Youji's downcast eyes. Traveling the expanse from the tip of her toe up the sleek expanse of the scantley clad legs in an equally bright mini skirt, Youji let his eyes fall back down before meeting said owners eyes. He couldn't find the energy to grin.

Manx could only fold her arms neatly over her chest, arching an eyebrow and meeting his gaze with a glare.

Didn't stop him from looking.

Manx let out a breath of air, her eyes softening as she turned to the brunette. "The doctor should be here shortly," She said and took a step towards him. She left all words of the redhead silent, though she knew it was of him he wanted to hear. It was for him that all eyes continued to drift down the hall, as Manx's did now. It was all they could do to pass the silence.

Manx's patients and good grace lasted as long as five minutes before she was off down the hall again, eyeing her watch and talking impatiently with the receptionist.

The minutes passed and the time seemed to slow for them; drawing out each agonizing second. Youji swore he could hear the clocks second hand move. It was the deciding factor that drove him to fidget within his seat once again. He all but jumped from his seat when from somewhere down the hall a door opened and clicked shut again.

All eyes fell upon the evacuating occupant, the doctor robbed in white, held a clip board in tow. He was young by Youji's standards, most doctors he'd seen being at least over fifty. But although he was young, worry lines had already formed around his eyes. The doctors eyes didn't rise from his clip board as he stopped before them, leafing through the numerous pages attached to it.

"A Mr. Hidaka?" He asked, his voice soft and his eyes gentle when he finally looked upon the lot before him.

Manx was suddenly beside them as they rose to their feet.

No words were spoken between the three Manx kept in tow, they only silently followed the doctor through the door. Manx pausing to tail behind at the door with words Youji did not hear.

* * *

Words were spoken.

Words Ken did not hear for he was elsewhere; waiting.

The others had all risen to their feet at the sound of unfamiliar voice, but again he did not hear. He was listening for a voice of another kind. He was waiting for something else, the slightest sound of footfall approaching, the barest of whispers as fabric to rustle – anything to give him away.

Because he was waiting for someone else.

A gentle hand was placed upon his arm, his name called and he was suddenly being pulled from his seat to stand, to walk as they did; and he did not wish to. He wished to stay right where he was, waiting. Despite the agony of not knowing, he'd rather wait forever.

His thoughts turned to the fear, the sudden anxiety overwhelming. The pressure building within him.

The voices around him suddenly quieted, the sound of their footfall still as the door closed behind the last entering occupant. He wasn't paying attention.

There was a brief pause that followed, an intake of breath he didn't hear, and the voices once again continued without him. He didn't pay attention to their words, the inflection, only the sound of their voices, only to distinguish between speakers.

The two blondes remained silent with him, leaving Manx to speak to the unnamed doctor. He didn't listen when the doctor finally, if he had at all, introduced himself. It was included in the conversation beyond him.

There was a hand wrapping around his arm, pulling him once again from his reverie, startling him with a twinge of hope. But that hope was short lived, the hand too delicate, to small to be his.

Ken was vaguely aware of being ushered to sit atop the examination table, vaguely aware of situating himself there, despite his reluctance; he wanted to continue to wait. Just a little longer, if only for a minute. He would come.

Questions were relayed around him, answers brief about him. He thought a few of them might have originally been aimed towards him, but he made no move to answer and Manx continued to be his voice.

He was once again elsewhere, he was hoping. Hoping to hear the door open, hoping to hear the soft apology that would follow for being late. Ken was anywhere but here, and all at once to where he wanted to be, to where he felt safest; but the tension, the anxiety, the fear, they did not leave him. They only added to one another, until a pain developed, an unnamed feeling settling heavily over his chest.

It felt wedged within his throat.

Papers were shuffled, the nearness unsettling. There was a stillness, and the sound of a clipboard being set against the table beside him. His whole body tensed, as if waiting for the strike.

The Doctor was speaking again, his voice so near it shook him. His fingers tightened around the tables edge, gripping to the cold metal as if it were a lifeline.

His heart pounded within his ears, rising above the sounds that surrounded him. He strained to hear, pushing himself to listen, to push away the irrational fear. But the pounding within his chest was too great.

And suddenly a hand was at his temple, the fingers cold and unfamiliar. He shook, pulling away sharply and struggling against the hands that reached out to restrain him.

The unfamiliar voice of the doctor spoke again, catching him off guard in its proximity. A cold hand clasped his and his hand snapped back involuntarily. But Manx spoke softly, her hand moving to once again rest atop his, grounding him. And though her actions did not calm him as completely as Ran's had, she'd momentarily grounded him. Though he was sure she noticed the tension in his arms and his rigid stance.

His heart continued to sound like thunder within his chest.

A sigh of relief was breathed across from him and a word of warning was spoken as the unfamiliar doctor continued. Ken flinched once again at the cold hands at his temple, causing the doctor to flinch in return, but Ken managed to reign in the sum of his fears and the doctor continued.

Taking note from his previous outburst, the doctor went on to explain each step he took, calmly announcing his every action. His voice soft, he did what the previous doctor had not; he spoke to him.

And all too suddenly, he felt the bindings about his eyes loosen around him; unwinding.

When the last of it had falling, his heart fell from his chest.

Despair encompassing him and swallowing him whole, for nothing had changed.

His world was still dark.

* * *

Just as the reality of what lay before him set in, his name was spoken, softly calling him. The hand about his wrist was gentle and gave a reaffirming squeeze, encouraging him.

"Ken…" Manx's voice was reassuring, the hint of a smile carrying with it, "Ken, open your eyes."

Light flooded into his eyes at the languid movement, his eyes unaccustomed to the intensity, fought to stay open despite it. But he refused to flinch, to shield himself from the onslaught of it. Unmoving, his eyes, once left in the dark filled with color. Vibrant, he looked to the people standing before him, to the two blondes, their breaths held; waiting.

But he couldn't smile just yet, because he wasn't sure this was real. His eyes continued to travel to what lay beyond them, standing just behind the two who stood in wait. Because he'd caught sight of something unexpected.

Against the wall, anticipation holding his breath, worry lining his face – barely visible but there, Ken caught sight of a brilliant shade of red. A color he never expected to care so much to see before, and the pain within his chest lessened.

Ken let a wry smile form across his lips, the tension fading from his body as the realization finally began to set in.

"I forgot how red your hair was, Ran," He said.

* * *

TBC

* * *

AN: doesnt seem to love me. My appologies for the Unedited version that was posted. I did post the edited version. Four times in fact. It just didnt save the four times I hit save apparently.

On to other things! I was so close to being cruel. You have no idea how close I was to leaving you hanging right after that last break. I'm just saying.

Wishing everyone a happy Valentines day! As an added bonus the first chapter of my new story **Your goodbye** is also up. Another RanKen fic! Reviews are love.


	10. One step at a time

**

* * *

**

Blind

_One step at a time_

Chapter 10

* * *

Over the next hour, Ken was once again subjected to every line of question pertaining to his vision and the area's surrounding it. He was poked and prodded to the point of exhaustion – but never once did he close his eyes for more than the time it took to blink. He wouldn't allow himself to.

Despite his present calm, his fear lingered at the simple thought of closing his eyes for one second too long. As if the darkness would return, as if it were only a second behind, on his heels in pursuit.

Ken continued to travel the expanse of the room with his eyes, taking in its every detail – despite the doctors sighs and prods to keep still as he examined him. The continuous onslaught of light the man relentlessly directed into his eyes helped him in no way.

Several times Manx broke her silence, though her voice laced with relief was begging for him to sit still, if only for a moment longer. Her hands continued to squeeze his shoulder every so often, as if she were afraid to let him go.

While the good doctor with his infinite patients was too beginning to wear thin, he continued his examination while the others were made to sit and wait within the hall. After the worst of it, the doctor turned in his little metal chair and moved to jot down a few notes upon his ever present clipboard. He continued to converse with Manx though, a dialogue flowing between the two that he paid little attention to. He knew if it was important Manx would repeat it, with a reprimand he was sure of, at a later time. For the time being his wandering was permitted.

After several minutes, the doctor's face appeared before him, one again startling him. The man smiled and laughed as Ken stared wide eyed at him. From the sound of his voice, the image of the man that came to mind while Ken was blindfolded was far from how the man actually looked. His voice was too deep, unfitting of the person inches from his face; The one once again pointing bright little lights into his eyes. Ken didn't understand why his voice sounded so old and worn, and while despite the growing worry lines that creased his face, he looked so young.

"I have to say, I much prefer that reaction to your earlier one. You very nearly gave me a heart attack, kid," He said. He laughed and the lines around his eyes became more prominent.

Ken didn't bother with a reply, but acknowledged the doctor with a soft slur of sound faintly resembling a grunt of disapproval. He was too busy watching the doctors hands as they came near his eyes for another round of poke and prod at his expense.

Ken leaned back away from him with a frown and finally spoke for the first time to the man. "Are we done yet?" He asked, and his voice was completely devoid of emotion. He only stared back at the man.

The doctor laughed politely, his face still inches from Ken's, his fingers giving one final check to the skin around his eyes before nodding, "Yes, it looks like we are."

Though he should have known, Ken couldn't help but hope it actually was. However, the good doctor, remembering at last, after flipping through the stack of papers spilling from his clipboard on him, the pulled stitches upon his torso and shoulder. With the final session of poke prod and re-stitch over and done with, the doctor gave him a once over before declaring him good as new.

"Well, almost new. On the mend really," He said, and he was once again at his clipboard, scrawling something across the page, repeating the process twice more before handing the notes to Manx.

After several marked instructions, more so directed towards Manx than himself for he was once again not paying attention, the good doctor finally declared him fit to leave – after so many more prescriptions and the scheduling of a final follow up appointment. At some point before this little meetings end, Ken took the opportunity to leave.

* * *

When Manx stepped out of the examination room several minutes later, she held several prescriptions in hand. Shutting the door to close behind her, she realized the brunet was no where to be seen. She could plainly see Youji on the other hand. The overly ambitious flirt that he was had situated himself to drape over the receptionists counter. All his attention focused upon the bubbly blonde receptionist.

She cleared her throat in a soft and impatient interruption as she came to stand behind him, her heels taping against the floor. She watched as a tremor shot down his spin and he froze, slowly pulling himself from the counter and straightening himself with a forced laugh.

"We're not here for social calls, Kudo."

At that Youji managed to turn, rather sheepishly, as Ran himself joined their group. His quiet entrance from the opposite hall did not go unnoticed, nor did the small paper cup filled with stale coffee.

"Where's Hidaka?" She asked.

"I thought he was with you."

"He slipped out a few minutes ago. I presumed him to be with the three of you." Manx said, and with a softer voice, no less stern, she turned to the youngest member, "Omi?"

Finally flipping his phone to a close, Omi stood from the row of chairs, "No, sorry, I didn't see him leave."

Youji tensed at the brief pause and the small forced smile that crept along her cherry lips. Her next words were cold enough to freeze hell over.

"You're telling me," she paused again, "that amongst the three of you, not a one of you saw him walk out that door?" Her tone spoke volumes and though it never rose, the meaning was quite clear. With one last glance, Manx turned to Ran, incredulously, with question.

It was despite the cold waves rolling off Manx that Ran managed to nonchalantly raise his cup of bitter vending machine coffee and take a swallow without so much as the slightest reaction. "Coffee," he said and took a sip.

Youji couldn't believe it when, in that same little movement, the redheaded bastard turned to him with raised eyes. "Kudo?" He asked, before turning to walk down the opposite hall.

* * *

Taking in the vast skyline, Ken stared out across the city. He let his eyes roll over its many buildings and narrowed in on the hidden patch of green that was just barely visible from where he stood. He held to it, keeping it within his site at all times.

He leaned forward, letting his elbows rest against the railing and clasping his hands before him; just watching. He let the sharp breeze from the rooftop whip across his skin, pushing and pulling his hair from under his cap, without so much as flinching.

Ken breathed in deeply, letting his eye's wander from the distant park across the city's skyline. A skyline he could once trace in his sleep. He took it in, trying once more to commit it to memory. And it was with that, for a second longer than he had yet dared, he closed his eyes to the wind, to the city, to the memories – lifting his head and letting the wind fall over him. But only for that second, he dared no longer.

In that brief moment, he listened. He listened as the wind whipped past him, as it howled around corners. He listened to the distant noise of traffic, of honking horns and shouting voices. And he listened to the fear, a fear he never wanted to hear again. For it was suddenly weighing upon his heart, replacing everything he had come to know within the past two weeks.

Everything had changed.

There was no longer the constant darkness with every breath he took.

There was no longer the fear that it brought with it.

There was only the fear of its return, of his demise.

Things had changed, because there was suddenly a new fear, a fear of falling behind. A fear of being left.

But Ken couldn't place the heaviness that weighted within his chest. It was so familiar, yet so distant. Or maybe it was that he didn't want to think of it, for it to brought a new fear. A fear he was not ready to relive, a fear he couldn't handle, not again.

Ken steadied himself, pushing back to straighten his arms and grip the railing before him and breathing in evenly. He chanced a look up to the oncoming storm and the dark clouds rolling in. He watched as they began to cover the horizon and felt the wind continue to grow as it ripped passed him.

And with one harsh gust, his cap was taken from his eyes and pulled back across the roof.

* * *

Ran paused at the landing caught between the stairs; torn. Torn between going, torn between staying. Opposite directions were pulling him either which way. His hand fell away from the metal railing as he had prepared for a step up and forward, he now took that step back.

Ran knew the brunet better than he knew himself, at least he thought he had. He knew what to expect, Ran knew when to fall back when Ken moved forward. He knew when to push forward when Ken fell back. When one moved, the other responded; a dance that continued to this day. A dance Ran knew by heart, a dance Ran was suddenly faltering with – the rhythm broken, the beat missing.

Ran could think of only one place the brunet was likely to be, it was only a step away – and yet so far. It took him only a moment to find the emergency exit, only a moment to realize Ken would have gone to see the sky, to watch bellow and it took only a second to hesitate. Something held him back.

* * *

Ken let the roof top door swing to shut behind him, loudly cracking as the wind slammed against it. He paid little attention to the echoing sound it created, riveting down the empty stair casing. He heard nothing, for so deep in thought was he, that he did not even notice the sound of his boots against the stairs. Learned habits asserted themselves, the silence ever present; every sound that was as it should be was ignored.

At his side, he clutched the baseball cap, once more in his possession; his fingers tense. It was almost as if he had forgotten himself, he moved without purpose, once again without thought, without mind; he let his body take control. No action was taken other than what was essential.

One step at a time, he kept his eyes to his feet. One step down and a pause – his eyes never leaving the space just before him and down. Curious, confused, angered, relieved and something…. Something he couldn't quite place. Everything fought to assert itself within him, crashing over him and disappearing within the very next moment; it was staggering.

_A breath that wasn't his._

His eye's shot up, taking in his every surrounding in a mere moment. His fingers tensed about his cap, the soft fabric folding within his palm.

He stood leaning against the wall near the door, his cup of coffee forgotten and placed upon the floor. Arms folded over his chest, Ran watched him, silently, appraising. Silently evaluating.

Ken couldn't move.

He couldn't speak, he couldn't…

"Welcome back."

And it was suddenly as if everything had come crashing down around him. In one fatal swoop, he felt a weight slam against him, crushing him and he fought not to stagger underneath its pressure; it took his breath away. Everything he had come to know, everything he had come to hope for… He couldn't breathe.

Everything, everything he had wanted to say, Ken knew Ran said within those words; his decision made. In his voice there was a sudden, inexplicable distance, and it burned like fire. There was a coldness Ken did not want to remember, a voice that returned from his past; A voice that held nothing but emptiness.

And Ken suddenly knew the feeling he could not place. Despair flooded him, longing and sorrow pushing past. He too knew emptiness, but of a different kind, for all at once he understood. The pieces suddenly fit together, the days of detachment and cold behavior leading to today. Ran wanted nothing to do with him, he was pushing him away.

_He broke._

One step at a time, one foot in front of the other. Somehow Ken managed to remember this; somehow he was able to make this and only this, work. Everything else was broken. His voice left him.

A step passed him.

He made it out the door.

A step forward, and he could see the others just ahead of him, he could hear their mixed emotions, their tones of anger and relief. He could see –

One foot in front of the other.

He unconsciously loosened his grip upon his cap, his strength leaving him; his hand shaking.

Ken could see their expressions start to change in worry and in the back of his mind he wondered briefly what expression he carried. He could see their looks of confusion as he walked forward; and he could feel it become blurry. And yet he didn't stop. He forced the cap in hand from his fingers and over his head, the bill blocking sight of anything above the floor – and for them, his eyes.

One step at a time, he walked passed.

His hand, a small loose fist, shaking. He no longer fought to control it.

One step at a time, the tears fell.

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tbc

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